My daughter and me on our vacation.

Good day!  I’ve been pondering where to start with my blog.  It’s been hard.  I’m pretty opinionated, and–like most women–I’ve always got a lot on my mind.  I didn’t want to go “too deep” on my first real post and run anyone away, but I’m not looking to write fluff either.  So, Here’s what I came up with.  I hope you are blessed by it! 

“Are we there yet???”

We just returned from a wonderful vacation.  It was one we really needed after a stressful year.  Our daughter, who is normally super sweet and pretty easy going, is in a rather impatient stage right now.  And, since our trip included 18 hours worth of driving, we heard the stereotypical childhood complaints from the back seat.  Overall, she wasn’t terrible about it, but we did have to remind her about every 10 miles to be patient, that there are good things around the corner–to enjoy the ride, and the blessings God has allowed us to experience.  You know, good parent “stuff.”  All of that “stuff” came back to bite me today, as I was complaining to God about my current situation.

You see, when I gave in and decided to be a teacher (“gave in” is the appropriate phrase here, it’s not that I didn’t want to be a teacher, but I’ll get to that in another post.)  I saw myself being much like my parents were and working in the same district for 30+ years.  I wanted to see my student’s children come through my classroom.  I wanted to invest in a community and leave a legacy behind me, like they did.  Unfortunately, that has not been God’s plan for me.  Up-to-date, I’ve worked in three public schools and one private school.  I have made lasting relationships with many of my students, but I haven’t stayed very long in one place–as per my dream.  I can honestly say that each time I made a change I did so knowing I was following God’s will.  I knew that He had a real plan and that it was my job to follow His lead.

I just started a new job this week.  It’s one that I want.  I know God’s in it, because he’s indicated as much when I’m in my quiet time. A bonus is that I get to work for an awesomely fun, godly lady.  It’s work, but it’s cake too.  But, it’s not enough to pay the bills.  So, I’m looking to add to it.  And, I’m not sure what God wants me to do to fill the gap.  I know that I’m burned out and need some rest from teaching.  My last job had me teaching 4 courses to 6 grade levels.  It was an impossible job, and although I did it to the best of my ability, I know the kids would have benefited from having more teachers.  I’m so glad that the school has now done what I kept pushing for and hired more teachers to fill my position.  But, I digress.  As I was working today, two things happened.  First, a young lady, who I’d had in class before, stopped into the shop for lunch and a visit.  We were visiting about her school years and I truly enjoyed the conversation.  It was a huge blessing.  Second, a sweet friend stopped in and visited too.  She didn’t know I was working there, so we spent some time catching up.  I filled her in on why I wanted a job where I didn’t have to make lesson plans and grade papers.  She totally understood, and empathized.

Here’s where I became like my daughter.  I started getting really down after both of these conversations.  They were both uplifting and a blessing, but I caught myself complaining to God.  “Why aren’t I there yet Lord?”  This is not the life I had planned for myself.  This is not supposed to be in the works.  I’m supposed to be tenured with a growing retirement and onto my second generation of students.  Although I love my new job, and it’s blessing me immensely, I started thinking, “what’s wrong with me?”  I want to feel like I’ve arrived.  I want to feel like I’m part of some grand plan.  I want, I want, I want…

Then it hit me.  What had I been saying to my sweet daughter, Mattie,  just a week ago?  God whispered in my ear, “we’re not there yet, but there’s good things around the corner.  Enjoy the blessings that I’m giving you.  Don’t be anxious for what’s to come, but live in the now.  I’m here.  I didn’t promise you an easy life, but I did promise that I’d bless you and I’d be with you…”  And He went on from there.

I flashed back to the mixed feelings I had when Mattie was grousing.  I knew what was coming and I wanted her to enjoy the plans we’d made for her.  I was disappointed with her impatience because I knew that the trip could be one of her best memories–not just the destination.  I started apologizing to God.  I knew that I’d made my heavenly father feel that same disappointment.  He knows what’s coming.  It’s a blessing.  But He wants me to stay in the now…and not worry about what’s around the bend.

Two well known verses came to mind immediately too–I love it when God reinforces what he lays on our hearts with His Word.  The first is Jeremiah 29:11, “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'”  God knows the destination.  He knows what’s coming, even though we don’t.  He knows that it’s a blessing.  He wants us to, “… throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us,  fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.” Hebrews 12:1-3.

Okay Lord, I’ll be patient.

Staying Alert in Christ,

Megan