God’s been whispering truths to me this week.  No hitting me on the head this time; this time His quiet voice whispered.  You see, my husband and I have hit what feels like a brick wall.  We have hit the tween years.  Our daughter is almost 11 years old, and she’s very mature in some ways, and immature in others.  I think most kids are like this.  We’re in a rough patch right now because she’s trying to become more independent…and her parents aren’t ready for that.   So, we’re dealing with some attitude, drama, crying, slamming doors—those of you who have raised girls know exactly what I’m talking about.  My husband is particularly vexed by this change in events.  He’s always been Mattie’s buddy.  He’s not one of those “friend” parents, but she and he have had this amazingly wonderful bond that I’ve been blessed to witness.  However, his fishing, crawdad-catching little girl is turning into a young lady…and he’s struggling.  He still wants his fishing buddy.  He misses her in so many ways.  But, she is pushing him away.  And he is so frustrated and hurt.

When I started this blog a couple days ago, I thought I was supposed to write to you about what dads need to do to keep their relationship close to changing girls.  But God, like He does so many times with me, led me in a different direction.  One night my husband and I stayed up late talking about how important it is for him not to pull away from Mattie during these transition years—which is something I think all daddies of little girls face.  (He’s doing an awesome job staying in the battle by the way.)  I found myself explaining why he needed to fight so hard for her heart.  I explained that she will put his traits onto her Heavenly Father.  I implored that he not back away from her…because he represents God in so many ways in her life.  For instance, if he pulls away and and “gives up” when she is sassing, then she will, as she gets older, believe that her heavenly Father can give up on her too.  It was a hard conversation for both of us.  We were both shedding tears of frustration, hurt, and mostly love for our daughter.  I don’t think she has any idea how much we want to help her during this time.

As I worked through my feelings on this and prepared to write this blog, God whispered to me, “Put yourself in his shoes for a bit.”  You see, Jason and Mattie could always talk about anything.  No question was off-limits; she knew she could ask him anything.  They were better at talking than I ever was with her.  A teacher at heart, I was always instructing.  But he was able to listen, explore, and go on adventures with her.  His relationship with her was awe-inspiring.  But now, I am the one she talks to.  We go shopping, get our nails done, and have “girl talk” about how her body is changing, about boys, and about how women fit into the world we live in.  And Daddy, “Just doesn’t understand” anymore.  When I stepped into Jason’s shoes, my heart broke.  I felt like I’d lost something that I could never get back.  I began to weep…and God whispered, “That is how I feel about you…” Ouch.