I know I’m not alone when I sometimes get stressed during the holidays.  There’s so much pressure to get the right gifts, in addition to regular work schedules and family time.  Then there are all the “Christmas traditions” that I feel we need to do.  I feel very overwhelmed and under-appreciated at times.  One of those “under-appreciated times” happened just a couple days ago after picking Mattie up from school.  We were listening to the radio and a spot came on from Focus on the Family.  The spot talked about the importance of making and preserving Christmas traditions.  Immediately I thought of making homemade bread, ornaments, and candies with Mattie each year.  I thought of the special times spent with family and how we take treats to our neighbors.  I thought, “Wow, I’ve got this down!”  Then my balloon was popped—well maybe popped isn’t strong enough of a word.  My balloon was dive-bombed.

“Mom, why don’t we have any special traditions?” was the innocent question from the backseat.  And I felt the impact, Pow!  Right on the noggin!  “WHAT!?!?”  I thought.  How could she not know the amount of work I put into Christmas each year?  How could she not realize how much I focus on making memories with her?  How could she ask that question?   I immediately got defensive.  “We have tons of traditions.  What are you talking about?” Came my snippy reply.  “No we don’t,” came her argumentative complaint. “We do the same things everyone else does.  We don’t do anything special!”

Wow, that really rang my bell.  The strong-willed side of me wanted to say, “Well if you think that, we won’t do any of our traditions this year and see how you like it!”  But, I held my tongue.  I started listing all of the things we do together as a family.  One by one, Mattie started to see the work I put into Christmas for her and our family each year.  Here are a couple lessons I’ve learned from this heart-wrenching conversation.

1.  Don’t assume.  Don’t assume your child knows or sees everything.   They are still young and sometimes they add two and two and get zero. Don’t assume they see and appreciate the family time…..which leads me to my next point.

 2.  Be intentional.  Ask your child, “Why do you think we bake bread every year at Christmas?”  Tell them that you’re trying to make good memories and teach them important lessons during this special season. This is something I’m trying to do in other areas of my daughter’s life as well.  I’m realizing how much she misses—just because I don’t tell her.  I assume she knows.  The other day, I spent 20 minutes telling her how smart she is.  She honestly didn’t know that I thought she was smart.  But, how could she?  I don’t tell her.  We all go about our business expecting that our children understand why we do what we do.  But, sometimes they don’t.  We have to be intentional with telling them they are loved, they are treasured, they are smart, they are talented.  This applies to their relationship with Christ as well.  We have to tell them how much God loves them EVERY day.  If we don’t, the world will tell them the opposite.

3.  Don’t stop.  As our children grow older, we tend to stop teaching them.  I know I have.  Mattie understands so much more now.  She’s intuitive and brave, but she’s not an adult.  She misses things (truth be told, so do most adults)—things that are important, like traditions.   Now that she sees all the traditions we do, she knows that she’s special and that her family loves her.  She sees how her father and I treasure her because we desire to spend time with her.  But, she didn’t see it before.  She saw a stressed out mom who put way too much pressure on herself.  And that leads to the next big lesson—

4.  Don’t over do it.  There’s so much pressure right now with moms trying to be perfect.  You can’t be perfect.  God didn’t make you perfect.  Let go of that aspiration.  Instead, focus on the things your child likes to do with you.  Mattie loves art and crafts.  We make new ornaments for our tree each year.  We also purchase special ones from Hobby Lobby as a family.  It’s fun and it’s special.  We bake bread and make candy (this doesn’t happen every year because it depends on when Christmas break falls), but I don’t go overboard teaching her how to make the fanciest fudge.  We take a simple recipe and we make that.  The point is not perfection but  to make the time precious.

5.  Don’t save all your traditions for Christmas.  Take time each and every day to be intentional to spend time with your child.  We pray together as a family each and every day; we also cook supper together, and do chores together.  My resolution this year is to eat more meals at the table together and to read the Word together daily.  I read mine, but I don’t share it with my daughter everyday.

Proverbs 22:6  “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.”  Read to your child, talk about what’s going on in your life, share how God’s changing you every day, and play with your child.   Show your child that they are special and treasured all year long.  That way they will know that you love them, and that God loves them.  In the end, I’m thankful for Mattie’s dive bomb.  It woke me up.  It reminded me of some important truths that apply to all of us even if it rang my bell a bit.

Thanks, Lord, for Mattie, and how she challenges me.  Thank you for making me sensitive to Your voice coming through a child.  I guess maybe I don’t need that helmet after all.