Last night was a rough night at our house.  We didn’t have any major mental melt-downs, thank the Lord, but we did have some turmoil.  If I’m being completely truthful, the stress started the night before.  Mattie and I came home from a fun time doing “chores” at my parents’ home (it’s hard to call them chores when Mattie loves them so much).  Any time with horses is heaven on earth for her—and we were both so wired that we didn’t fall right asleep.  This meant we woke up tired, and by the end of the school day for her and the workday for me, our fuses were short.

My plans were very well thought out and if they went as I’d hoped, I knew I’d be in great shape for the rest of the week.

After I picked her up from school, I immediately knew that the evening was not going to go as I had planned.  My plans were very well thought out and if they went as I’d hoped, I knew I’d be in great shape for the rest of the week.   I needed to sew her costume for school on Wednesday.  She could do her homework at the table where I was sewing, and she’s been wanting to cook supper lately, so I thought I’d let her!  This would give me extra time to work on her dress!

Unfortunately, that’s not how the evening went.

First, my husband hadn’t had time to get groceries before he left for work, which meant I needed to go pick them up—that was going to cut about an hour out of my plans, but hey, that’s not bad.  Then when Mattie got in the car, she announced she had 4 pages of math homework and a paper to write (because she’d forgotten about it over the weekend).  Ugh!  There goes our great evening.

I took a deep breath, and we made a plan together.  We hurried through the grocery shopping, and after doing chores when we got home, I set the timer for her to play outside for 15 minutes while I got things lined up to sew her dress.  That’s when our evening  started to fall apart…

“Mom!  I’m so stupid!”

She came in from looking for toads outside, with big bags under her eyes.  I could tell she was exhausted, but I said to her, “You can do this!”  She decided to work in my room instead of at the table so the sewing machine wouldn’t distract her.  And then the questions started.

“Mom!” came the scream from the back room, “I don’t remember how to classify this triangle!”

“Mom!  I can’t figure out this math at all!”

“Mom!  I’m so stupid!”

“Mom!  How am I supposed to write this dumb paper, when I don’t even know who this guy is!”

And it went on…with every gripe and complaint I became more and more frustrated…

My thoughts raced:

“Why can’t she just do her homework without all this.”

“I get so tired of her complaining.”

“If she’d just try before she gripes!”

“I’m never going to get this dress done!”

My exasperation escalated with every complaint.  My evening that I had mapped out was down the drain, and I was never going to get this dress done!  That’s when things exploded.

“Mom!  You don’t want to help me!  You don’t care about me at all!”  With that, she ran into her room and slammed the door.

I lost my temper.  I told her she that she was ungrateful, and that she had to stay in her room and that she couldn’t cook supper and that I wasn’t sewing her dress after all because now, I had to cook supper and I couldn’t get it all done!  I’m not supermom!

I called my mom—the original super mom—and started venting.

“Mom!  Why can’t she just do her work!”

“Mom!  She’s making me crazy!”

“Mom!  I’m making this costume for her, and she won’t let me work!”

“Mom!  Will you please talk to her?”

My mother, always the peacemaker, said sure.  Before long, Mattie came out and truly apologized.  I told her, “Why don’t you take a break from your homework and start supper.”  She quietly complied, and we visited about school and about life, as I coached her cooking and continued to sew.  Later, I called Mom back.

“What did you say to her to make her stop?”

“I just told her that you both were feeling the same thing…”

“What?”

“You both were frustrated, overwhelmed, and low on time.  Once she saw that, she calmed right down.”

Wow.

How many times have I told her that she needs to think of others before herself, and she needs to show love for people despite what she may be feeling!  How many times have I prayed for God to give me His eyes for the world, and yet, I’ve not asked the same thing for my daughter?    I was so caught up in my own timeline and plans that I missed that she was feeling the exact same way.  How is it that two people going through the same exact emotions can get so angry at each other and forget that,  “since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.” (1 John 4:11)

How many times have I prayed for God to give me His eyes for the world, and yet, I’ve not asked the same thing for my daughter?

Lord, I’ve been working so hard to teach Mattie to live like You.  Help me to see her through Your eyes so I can see the big picture of her life—not just the details.  Mold me into the mom You want me to be…Amen.

 

Staying Alert in Christ,

Megan

Playlist:

“Give Me Your Eyes”  Brandon Heath:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P5AkNqLuVgY

“My Own Little World” Matthew West:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M9Yasgzjc0w