A disclaimer: My mother edits all my blogs. Since this blog is about her, it’s not been edited…please be patient if I missed something. I couldn’t write this blog without my mom–she’s amazing!
My parents with our entire family.
Well, it’s the week after mother’s day. I’ve been pondering what it means to be a “good mother,” for while but it took spending a weekend with my wonderful mom to solidify my thoughts. My last post I talked about a painful moment in my childhood where my mom, in an effort to help me fit in better at school, asked me to “change” my behavior. (I hugged everyone, and I mean everyone, and I wanted to show people how much I liked them by hugging them.) After reading the blog my mother shared it on Facebook and said, “so many regrets.” This comment broke my heart. I didn’t want her to regret anything. I was simply reflecting on lessons I learned and applying them to how I raise Mattie. So, this blog is addressed to my mom. Let me tell you what I learned about being a “good mother,” from one of the best.
1. Mom, you taught me to always evaluate who I am as a mom. You do this even now. You question your motives. You analyze your actions. You worry that it’s never enough. I believe part of being a good mom is learning from mistakes, and not assuming that I know what I’m doing, because I don’t. You didn’t either, but because you cared, you didn’t have to know—wanting to do it right made all the difference.
2. Mom, you taught me that sometimes words aren’t needed. There were many times in my childhood where I remember you just holding me as I cried. You always say you “talked us to death.” I disagree; you always seemed to know when not to speak.
3. Mom, you taught me how to vent. There are times when our frustrations run high and we need to just let it out. You have always been my sounding board. You have always been there to temper my ire with patience and grace (and sometimes the willingness to fight off whoever was hurting me). I still use you for that today, and you’ve taught me to do the same for Mattie when she’s frustrated.
4. Mom, you’ve taught me that being a good mom means being a good listener—even when it hurts. I remember our long walks where I worked through the hardest moments in my life. You listened. You didn’t try to fix anything. You were simply there. Loving me was enough. You were my companion through turbulent waters. You couldn’t make the storm pass, but you could walk through it with me.
5. Mom, you’ve taught me the power of prayer. I knew you were praying for me when I was growing up. I knew that you trusted that He had a plan, even when you worried what that plan might be. I have the faith that I have now, because you taught me how to live as a Christian.
Part of being a good mom, is knowing that you’ll make mistakes, but trusting that God can take those mistakes and turn them into an amazing blessing.
Finally, mom, here’s something I’ve been learning lately. Part of being a good mom, is knowing that you’ll make mistakes, but trusting that God can take those mistakes and turn them into an amazing blessing. I don’t want to make mistakes any more than you did. But, I know from my own life that the mistakes I make God will use to mold Mattie into an amazing light for Him. I have to trust Him. I’m afraid. I worry. I evaluate. I pray. I love her more than my own life. I learned how to be the mom I am because of you. Please don’t be sad about the mistakes you may have made. Use them to show the world the power of Christ to take any circumstance—even a bull headed girl like me—and make a blessing out of it.
I love you mom. You’re my hero.
Staying Alert 