Lord, help me show her she’s enough…

Posted on May 1, 2014 by Megan

Before Easter I had the awesome opportunity to take my daughter to the “Secret Keeper Crazy Hair Tour,” in a nearby town. If you have the chance to take your daughter to one of these events, please do so. Don’t let conflicts get in your way—it will bless you and your daughter immensely! One of the most impacting moments was after one of the speakers shared her personal testimony about her battle with body image. After sharing that God doesn’t want the girls to be “normal” but instead that they should be endeavoring to be “Crazy” for God, the speaker asked everyone’s eyes to close. She led the girls in laying their own hand on the area of their body that they don’t like—a place that they feel is unattractive, ugly, or not “normal.” After doing this the speaker asked that the girls pray with her giving that area, which they have no control over because their bodies are changing, over to God. She then asked God to clear the girls’ minds of the desire to be anything but themselves. It was an amazing experience. I opened my eyes, tears streaming down my face, to see my daughter looking up at me, tears streaming down her face. Then I hugged her and prayed over her. I believe it changed our relationship forever.

In the following weeks I’ve had many opportunities to remind Mattie of the things she learned and experienced at the event. She’s battled hormones, a boy who put a mean sign on her back, a virus that caused her to miss a week of school, and then a double ear infection that caused her to miss even more. She’s been weary and overwhelmed. One day she said to me, “Mom, no matter what I do, I’ll never be enough.”

It broke my heart. It also reminded me of a speaker I listened to at our denomination’s women’s retreat several years ago. I wish I could remember her name so I could give her credit here, but I just can’t bring it to mind. What she said made an impact on me because she spoke right to what I was feeling as a young married mom. She said, “The world tells you you’re not enough and too much all at the same time.”

“The world tells you you’re not enough and too much

all at the same time.”

I’ve felt that. I’ve felt like there wasn’t enough of me to go around. Like I’d never be super mom. Like I am doomed to fail as a mother and as a lover of Christ. The world shoved works down my throat and asked me to “strive” to do better. All the while I felt bombarded by the feelings that I was too “over the top,” or “too emotional,” or “too excited.” I was not enough and yet too much.

What made things even worse was that those messages weren’t sent to me by a males-centric society, but rather, by other women! It went deeper than just what my clothes looked like to things like how long it took me to find a Bible verse or what I chose to wear to church. I felt like I had to constantly strive to be something I’m not—and every person had different expectations. I could never be enough. I never felt at peace. I still don’t, if I’m truly honest.

I remember being Mattie’s age. It was a horrible time. I remember sitting in my bed crying at night because the other girls at school were so cruel. I was a hugger and I just loved everyone. I remember my mother trying to get me to “just calm down,” and to “not wear my heart on my sleeve.” I remember sobbing and saying, “but you’re asking me not to be me.”

“but you’re asking me not to be me.”

What I’ve been pondering this week is, “How do we as mothers do this to our daughters?” Do I make Mattie feel like she’s not enough and yet too much? If I’m completely honest, yes, I do that. I don’t want her to be hurt by the legalism at her school, so I sometimes don’t let her wear what she wants—even if it fits dress code and it’s modest. I’ve seen her respond to this by not wanting to wear her hair down so that people won’t think she’s too proud of it, or that they think she’s a “girly-girl.”

All the while, I’m telling her things like, “calm down,” “not so loud,” “act like a big girl please.” I’m showing her that who she is, isn’t enough, and yet it’s too much. I’m training her to do the very things that I have fought to free myself from.

I told you at the beginning of this blog that this event changed our relationship forever. It’s starting with me. I’m starting to say things like “If you like your hair like that, then do it,” and after checking to see if something is modest asking, “Do you feel pretty in it? Then wear it!” Now, I’m not quite to the point of letting her wear paisley and plaid together (because I have to teach her some decorum) but the point is, I’m trying to accept her for who she is—so that she knows she’s enough for me.

I’m trying to accept her for who she is—

so that she knows she’s enough for me.

Our Heavenly Father created each of us because He wanted our companionship. He has a plan for our lives, and He never questions if we’re enough. He never feels that we’re too much either—because He made us to be who we are. He knows that we are perfect in our salvation from the blood of His precious Son. So why do we let Satan convince us that we’re not? Why do we let others do that to us?

That’s over at our house. My frog catching, snake loving, horse riding, girly-girl is perfectly created by a perfect God. It’s time I started treating her like it.

Lord, I repent of not showing Mattie her beauty that you placed in her. Help me to see her through Your perfect eyes. Help me to show her that whatever she does, if she does it for You she will be enough. Thank you Lord for re-making me as a mom…I love you Lord. Amen.

Staying Alert in Christ,

Megan

Playlist:

Jonny Diaz, “More Beautiful You” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XNqQUojBg84

Casting Crowns, “All You Ever Wanted” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ea-uQFPcvaM

Big Daddy Weave, “Redeemed,” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VzGAYNKDyIU

Lord, give me Your eyes for her…

Posted on April 8, 2014 by Megan

Last night was a rough night at our house. We didn’t have any major mental melt-downs, thank the Lord, but we did have some turmoil. If I’m being completely truthful, the stress started the night before. Mattie and I came home from a fun time doing “chores” at my parents’ home (it’s hard to call them chores when Mattie loves them so much). Any time with horses is heaven on earth for her—and we were both so wired that we didn’t fall right asleep. This meant we woke up tired, and by the end of the school day for her and the workday for me, our fuses were short.

My plans were very well thought out and if they went as I’d hoped, I knew I’d be in great shape for the rest of the week.

After I picked her up from school, I immediately knew that the evening was not going to go as I had planned. My plans were very well thought out and if they went as I’d hoped, I knew I’d be in great shape for the rest of the week. I needed to sew her costume for school on Wednesday. She could do her homework at the table where I was sewing, and she’s been wanting to cook supper lately, so I thought I’d let her! This would give me extra time to work on her dress!

Unfortunately, that’s not how the evening went.

First, my husband hadn’t had time to get groceries before he left for work, which meant I needed to go pick them up—that was going to cut about an hour out of my plans, but hey, that’s not bad. Then when Mattie got in the car, she announced she had 4 pages of math homework and a paper to write (because she’d forgotten about it over the weekend). Ugh! There goes our great evening.

I took a deep breath, and we made a plan together. We hurried through the grocery shopping, and after doing chores when we got home, I set the timer for her to play outside for 15 minutes while I got things lined up to sew her dress. That’s when our evening started to fall apart…

“Mom! I’m so stupid!”

She came in from looking for toads outside, with big bags under her eyes. I could tell she was exhausted, but I said to her, “You can do this!” She decided to work in my room instead of at the table so the sewing machine wouldn’t distract her. And then the questions started.

“Mom!” came the scream from the back room, “I don’t remember how to classify this triangle!”

“Mom! I can’t figure out this math at all!”

“Mom! I’m so stupid!”

“Mom! How am I supposed to write this dumb paper, when I don’t even know who this guy is!”

And it went on…with every gripe and complaint I became more and more frustrated…

My thoughts raced:

“Why can’t she just do her homework without all this.”

“I get so tired of her complaining.”

“If she’d just try before she gripes!”

“I’m never going to get this dress done!”

My exasperation escalated with every complaint. My evening that I had mapped out was down the drain, and I was never going to get this dress done! That’s when things exploded.

“Mom! You don’t want to help me! You don’t care about me at all!” With that, she ran into her room and slammed the door.

I lost my temper. I told her she that she was ungrateful, and that she had to stay in her room and that she couldn’t cook supper and that I wasn’t sewing her dress after all because now, I had to cook supper and I couldn’t get it all done! I’m not supermom!

I called my mom—the original super mom—and started venting.

“Mom! Why can’t she just do her work!”

“Mom! She’s making me crazy!”

“Mom! I’m making this costume for her, and she won’t let me work!”

“Mom! Will you please talk to her?”

My mother, always the peacemaker, said sure. Before long, Mattie came out and truly apologized. I told her, “Why don’t you take a break from your homework and start supper.” She quietly complied, and we visited about school and about life, as I coached her cooking and continued to sew. Later, I called Mom back.

“What did you say to her to make her stop?”

“I just told her that you both were feeling the same thing…”

“What?”

“You both were frustrated, overwhelmed, and low on time. Once she saw that, she calmed right down.”

Wow.

How many times have I told her that she needs to think of others before herself, and she needs to show love for people despite what she may be feeling! How many times have I prayed for God to give me His eyes for the world, and yet, I’ve not asked the same thing for my daughter? I was so caught up in my own timeline and plans that I missed that she was feeling the exact same way. How is it that two people going through the same exact emotions can get so angry at each other and forget that, “since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.” (1 John 4:11)

How many times have I prayed for God to give me His eyes for the world, and yet, I’ve not asked the same thing for my daughter?

Lord, I’ve been working so hard to teach Mattie to live like You. Help me to see her through Your eyes so I can see the big picture of her life—not just the details. Mold me into the mom You want me to be…Amen.

Staying Alert in Christ,

Megan

Playlist:

“Give Me Your Eyes” Brandon Heath: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P5AkNqLuVgY

“My Own Little World” Matthew West: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M9Yasgzjc0w

Burn Me Up Lord…

Posted on April 3, 2014 by Megan

Photo by Sandy Johnson

I love spring in the Great Plains. I love the look of the grass as it peeks through the blackened dirt after a field has been burned. I love the smell of smoke in the air. I love the muted look the smoke gives the farmlands around us when the sun shines through it. For those of you who don’t live in the heartland, you probably don’t understand why my thoughts of spring relate so much to fire. You see, each spring the Flint Hills light up with lines of fire. These controlled burns destroy all the dead undergrowth left over after the cold of winter and clear the pastures of parasites. Farmers do this so new, fresh, healthy grass can grow back in its place. It’s a beautiful and powerful sight for those of us who live here.

: Photo by Michelle Tessaro. Check out http://www.michelleslens.com!

Recently I realized that this practice is much like what some of us attempt to do during Lent. Lent is a time when some Christians choose to give up something that they care about for the 40 days prior to Easter. We do this because we want draw closer to God through our sacrifice—it’s 40 days long to remind us of the 40 days that Jesus went into the wilderness to fast and be tempted. Every time we think of the item that we have sacrificed, we instead turn our hearts toward God and the greatest sacrifice ever. There’s something special about this time. It’s a time where we really evaluate what is important in our lives—and what we can do without. It’s like spring-cleaning for our hearts: just as the burning fields clean out the dead undergrowth that survived the winter, Lent asks us to give up things that we’ve been holding onto that aren’t good for us and we don’t need, all while drawing closer to the One and only God.

This year, instead of giving up something I really like for Lent, God asked me to break the rules. I decided to ask God what part of my life He wanted me to give up—what needed to be burned away. He showed me areas I didn’t want to see. He showed me ways I’d hurt those that I love, and asked me to give up something I didn’t even know I’d become attached to—harsh words.

Lately, I’ve been convicted that we as Christians need to behave more like Christ in the political arena. I’ve written about this conviction in the past, but this revelation was new. I’ve worked to tame my tongue on social media and in public, but God showed me how I’ve been harsh with my daughter. He spoke to my troubled heart: “Don’t forget her, she’s so much more important than the world…”

: Photo by Travis Harrison

It’s like she’s standing on a cliff. She’s teetering between the young woman she wants to be and one that is ruled by her hormones and emotions. Her behavior is, sometimes, very frustrating to me. I find myself saying things like, “You’re being such a brat!” and, “What’s wrong with you!” Granted, there are much worse things that I could be saying, but the fact that even though she was acting like a brat, and she does seem to lose her mind at times, it doesn’t give me the right to point out to her what she already knows.

You see, she knows that she’s being difficult, and she doesn’t like that she is. In her heart of hearts, she wants to be the sweet, kind, and empathetic child she used to be—but her hormones, her strong will, and her pride are keeping her from doing that right now.

The old adage, “Sticks and stones may break my bones,

but words can never hurt me,” is a lie straight from the pit of hell.

The old adage, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me,” is a lie straight from the pit of hell. Scripture tells us quite the opposite. It tells us in Proverbs 18:9 that “death and life are in the power of the tongue…” Over and over, scripture says that our words are powerful, and we have the ability to speak good into the world or speak evil. We can conquer demons, defeat enemies, and heal relationships with our words. My words, whether accurate or not, have power in my daughter’s life. I can choose to speak joy, peace, and love into her life, or I can choose to push her over the cliff she’s teetering on. And, that power rests with me.

This Lenten season, every time I’ve gotten angry or frustrated with her sass or over-reactions, I’ve turned my heart toward God and asked that He give me the words that speak life into her–instead of discouragement– while still correcting her behavior. God is working on her. He’s been burning down brush piles in her heart—just like He’s doing in mine. I can’t forget that. I need to be on her team, to be the voice that helps bring new life to the barren field left behind her anger and frustration. I am to be there and love her unconditionally after the last ember has died off. After all, that’s what God has done for me.

I love spring. I love the promise of new life—eternal life. I love how God renews the earth and my heart each year. Thank you Lord for remaking me…Burn me up, Lord.

: Photo by Natalie Winters

Staying alert in Christ,

Megan

For more information about why pastures are burned: http://thepioneerwoman.com/blog/2011/05/why-we-burn-our-pastures/

Playlist:

“Speak Life” Toby Mac: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZeBv9r92VQ0

“Wonderful Words of Life”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U7x3OX6v5_o

“Words” Hawk Nelson: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=anVweXDcxhA

“Making Me” Sidewalk Prophets: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BGkmPeVpBbI

“Starts with Me” Tim Timmons: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pslWA2VRmxg

What do You want me to say, Lord?

Posted on February 27, 2014 by Megan

Hello friends! I pray that you have had a wonderful couple of weeks, as have I. God’s been challenging me in new and exciting ways, as I continue this journey of drawing closer to Him. I’m excited to share these new insights with you over the next few weeks, but God is still growing them in me. So, today, instead of going terribly deep, I thought I’d share a simple, yet deeply profound discovery. I pray it blesses you.

This discovery started a couple of weeks ago when I was fretting (I do this way too much, don’t you!) I had the children’s sermon in church. I worry every time I have it because, first, I want to share something that will impact these children and perhaps give them a clear memory that God will use in their lives, and second, I want to remind the adults in the congregation of the simple, yet profound, joys that God shares with us. These building blocks are so important. I feel sometimes we lose track of them as we get older, and being reminded of them is a gift. So, I feel a deep obligation to speak what God would have me speak. In other words, I put a lot of unneeded pressure on myself. I usually try to do an object lesson and have something to give the kids that reminds them of that lesson; however, after a long hard week, Saturday arrived and I still had no idea what I was going to teach about.

I was so tired—as I have been frequently lately—and my husband, daughter, and I were grabbing a quick bite to eat out because I didn’t want to cook. (On a side note, my husband has taken over the cooking this week because I’m still feeling very tired. I have to brag on him and how good he is to me. He works the evening shift and isn’t home when we have supper, but he’s put things in the crockpot, pre-cooked meat, and even purchased all our groceries this week! I am one blessed woman!) When I shared my dilemma, Mattie, my sweet daughter who is incredibly horse crazy, piped up: “You could teach about Muley!” Muley is a horse her Papa is giving her at the beginning of summer break. I laughed because I knew she was going to say this. We don’t go a single day without at least 15 questions about her new horse. My response to her suggestion: “Mattie, I know you love Muley, but how can I share about God through that?”

Isn’t it so amazing how God works? Jason said, “I’m sure you can think of something that horses do that you can use to teach the kids about God.” I paused, and asked God, “What do you want me to say Lord?” I immediately got the picture of an old rickety bridge not far from my childhood home, and a memory surfaced.

When I was young, not much older than my daughter is now, I used to ride my horse Chata down the road by our home. About two miles down this road was a very old bridge. The bridge was low to the water and often when it rained the water would wash over the top of it. This made holes in it where the cement and gravel had washed away, and you could see the creek beneath.

One afternoon in the spring I was riding Chata, and we came upon this bridge. The water was up, but it wasn’t rushing. It was more like a gentle stream over the top of the road. We’d been here often enough that I knew where to cross to avoid any washed out portions of the bridge. I clucked at Chata, but she balked. I couldn’t get her to go through the water. After a couple attempts, I got off her back and walked her across the creek—getting myself wet in the process, but earning her trust. We came back to that creek many more times as I got older, and she never balked again. She trusted that I knew where to lead her and she would be safe.

I once asked my dad why horses feared water like they do. He explained that horses have little to no depth perception. A horse can see the water, but it can’t see how deep it is. So, while I could see that the water was only a couple of inches deep and not dangerous, she couldn’t. She didn’t know that she’d be safe until I got off her back and led her through her trial.

God whispered, “That just like you.” Immediately I saw the world through Chata’s eyes. With God as my rider, guiding me through the crags and snares of life, I’ve learned to trust His design. But, oh, how many times have I balked. I come across a trial, and I can’t see the depth of it. I can’t tell if I’ll make it through to the other side, or if it will swallow me whole. But, God can. He knows where the holes are. He knows how deep it is and how long I’ll be in it. I just have to learn to trust him—like Chata learned to trust me. How many times has He climbed out of the saddle to walk beside me and coax me through life? How many times have I slowed a blessing because of my fear and unbelief? I need to completely surrender control to my Rider, and trust that He will keep me safe.

Amazing. God always has a plan. It’s a blessing to have a horse-crazy daughter after all. The neatest thing is that I remembered that my sweet Chata, who passed away my freshman year in college, is the grandmother to Mattie’s Muley. How precious is our God. Things have a way of coming full circle. The blessings from the Lord are immense and beyond my understanding.

Lord, thank you for giving me such wonderful reminders of who You are. Thank you for being a faithful friend and rider. I surrender control to You and trust that, even when I don’t know the outcome, You do. You give me so much more than I deserve. I love You. Amen.

Staying Alert in Christ,

Megan

Playlist:

“You Lead” Jamie Grace http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JFmSzL2ppvg

“Keep Making Me” Sidewalk Prophets http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BGkmPeVpBbI

“Speak Life” Toby Mac http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZeBv9r92VQ0

“Love Take Me Over” Steven Curtis Chapin http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W8DiZhNVu1I

Lord, are You my “room of requirement”?

Posted on February 12, 2014 by Megan

I started writing this blog over a week ago. It just didn’t seem to be coming together, and I almost chucked it. But, isn’t God good! He’s shown me so much more this last week, and I pray that He uses this blog to bless you!

A confession…

I have a confession to make, but before I get disowned, please hear me out. Okay, here goes: I have read the entire Harry Potter series. Now, wait! Before you close this blog out, let me explain.

I started reading the series when my daughter was in kindergarten. Prior to this, I’d held the view that the series was bad news, and that Christians should stay as far away from them as they could. So, I did. But, then my daughter brought home an ABC book from the library. (She was in public school at the time, but it was a small and very conservative school) The book was about all of the wonderful books you could check out from your local library. Being an English teacher, this excited me that she’d checked it out—and guess what, “H” was for Harry Potter.

When we read this little book together, my daughter knew every title but this one. So, I told her it was a book about magic and quickly moved to the next page. However, this interchange got me to thinking, “Has Harry Potter become part of our culture, or is he just a passing phase?” The more research I did, the more I became convinced that this book series not only had a huge fan base, but many terms that were invented for use in the book were becoming part of our language—it was growing into a part of the culture as a whole. Humph.

My husband and I sat down and discussed this. We agreed that I should read the series so as to know what to do if our daughter ever decided to read she wanted to read it. We did this prayerfully, and I asked God to expose every danger and give me discernment as I read. I was convinced I would hate every minute of it. I was sure I’d find sin and discord at the turn of every page!

I didn’t. What I found, and later verified through research, was a series that is not unlike that of Narnia, or The Lord of the Rings (with a marked difference in the author not desiring to impart Christ). In fact Rowling admits that much of what she wrote is based in her Christian upbringing—although she also admits to have many other influences as well. I believe that, like people, books have good and bad in them. Some are not worth reading—but some, even with their flaws, are. Now, I’m not going to try to convince you to read the series. It’s okay for us to disagree. However, I felt you needed to understand this background before I got to the main point of my blog.

And now, getting to that point…

I’ve been blessed with an amazing opportunity to serve on a ministry team for a local women’s retreat. I’ve attended this retreat every year, without fail, for twelve years. It’s blessed my life, changed me, and challenged me. You can imagine how excited, and nervous, I was to attend my first planning meeting. After introduction of the new members of the team and some housecleaning discussion, our first activity was to take a prayer walk (in the freezing cold) around the grounds to pray for the retreat, and more importantly, to ask God what His will was for this year’s retreat. As I started to pray, I couldn’t get my brain to just settle in on God…so I sat down and started writing out what God had done for me through this retreat. Soon enough words started flowing that I knew weren’t from me, and as I prayed I said, “God, what is it You want? How can this retreat help Your people?” Words that all started with “R” starting flowing onto the paper. He wanted the retreat to be a rest, a renewal, to provide revelation, bring revival, a refreshing of the Word, a requirement…wait…what was that Lord? How can we make this retreat a requirement? That seems harsh. I prayed and waited. What came to mind? Harry Potter—weird, I know. I prayed that God would make it clear to me that He was speaking, and his answer, “I can be that.”

“You can be what Lord?” The image of the “room of requirement” from the Harry Potter series again came to mind.

“I can be that…’

The room of requirement is “… a room that a person can only enter when they have real need of it… when it appears, it is always equipped for the seeker’s needs.” (Doby the house elf) So the Lord can be a magical room that shows itself when a person is need. I wrote down the idea and looked at the time. My time was up, and I had to get back into the meeting. Oh how I wanted to spend some real time—even in the freezing cold—visiting with my Lord about this! Even while cutting the conversation short, I knew this idea was something God was going to build upon in the next few days. I had no idea that it would be weeks, and He’s still showing me more.

I started pondering the times in the book series when the room showed itself. The two instances that were most prominent in my memory were when the children of Hogwarts were preparing for battle against the forces of evil and they needed a place to practice, and when that evil had taken over, they found a place or refuge where they could congregate together in safety. The room, in both instances was equipped with exactly what the children needed. It provided a safe place and a refuge—it gave them just what they needed. I also found it interesting that the room was located on the 7th floor of the castle—a holy number.

As I continued to pray about it, God showed me that the analogy wasn’t perfect. He does not give what is needed to those whose work is for evil—and the room in the story does. And, He is not limited in what He can give, while the room cannot make food for those who need it. However, it’s an interesting thought. What if we truly made God our “room of requirement”? What does His word say about His desire and ability to meet our daily needs?

“And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:19

“Therefore do not worry, saying; “What will we eat?’ or ‘What will we wear? For it is the Gentiles who strive for all these things; and indeed your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But strive first for the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Matthew 6:31-33

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat, or about your body, what you will wear. For life is more than food, and the body more than clothing. Consider the ravens: they neither sow nor reap, they have neither storehouse nor barn, and yet God feeds them. Of how much more value are you than the birds!” Luke 12:22-24

“So do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring worries of its own. Today’s trouble is enough for today.” Matthew 6:34

“And can any of you by worrying add a single hour to the span of life?” Luke 12:25

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not let them be afraid.” John 14:27

These verses are just the tip of the iceberg. God continually shows us in His word that He wants what is best for us. He wants to give us what we need. He wants to give us so much more than our simple minds can fathom.

In regard to the Retreat, God showed me that He wants the women attending to see that He can supply all that they need. They don’t need anything but Him. Most of us know this, but we don’t live it out day-to-day. We try so hard to be self sufficient, that we forget that we need to be dependent. We need to completely depend on Christ for our every need. God can be our very own room of requirement. We can enter into His presence and have every need met and every heartache healed.

I find it amazing that God can use anything to show me biblical truths—even Harry Potter.

Lord, today, it’s my desire to become completely dependent on You. Lord, keep calling me into Your presence. Don’t let me wander Lord. I want my every breath, and my every step to be about You. Amen.

Staying Alert In Christ,

Megan

Playlist:

“Declaration of Dependence,” Steven Curtis Chapman: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7GpwrBn0eXQ&list=PLCC72C714A25775FB

“Magnificent Obsession,” Steven Curtis Chapman: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cel_O-qy0i0

“Keep Making Me,” Sidewalk Prophets: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BGkmPeVpBbI

Why don’t people get Your grace, Lord…

Posted on January 22, 2014 by Megan

Over our busy Christmas I had the opportunity to sit down with my mother, brother, and his beautiful wife and visit. This doesn’t happen often in our family–that we’re all in the same place, and we have time to just visit. My brother lives three hours away from us to the east, and my mother and father live two and a half hours away to the south. So we really only see each other on birthdays and holidays. So, this time was precious; however, it became stressful to me very quickly. My brother’s and my relationship has always been a bit strained. We’re just different enough that getting along wasn’t always easy. I’m betting I’m not alone in this, as it’s very common among siblings.

Our discussion was unusual in that my brother and his wife were discussing their faith—something they don’t do often around me because I can be overbearing and opinionated, like my dad. So the fact that they opened up was great, and my reaction to what they said will probably stop them from doing it again anytime soon, which makes me sad. (I really need to learn to control my reactions, but I digress) We were discussing grace—you would think a safe topic as everyone loves grace, and we are all three saved—and when it became “real” to them that they didn’t have to work their way into heaven. I was shocked to find that they had only recently made this realization. I immediately said to my brother, “How can you have sat through all of Pastor Bodenhammer’s sermons growing up and not have gotten grace!” Not a good response. My brother’s face immediately changed from enthusiasm over this new and wonderful revelation, to a shut-off, defensive wall. I realized once again that I had blown a great opportunity to connect with him. Why is it that we so often miss the opportunities to bless our own family? I could get into analyzing sibling relationships, but I won’t, because that’s not the point of this blog.

However, this whole discussion got me to thinking (more like ranting, and yes, I need to work on that too) about why people who have the same upbringing, sit in the same pew, go to the same youth groups, and gave their lives to the same God, don’t know Him the same way. How did my brother, who was saved the Sunday before I was, hear doctrine when I heard grace!? I also got to thinking…if my brother didn’t get it when he was raised just like I was, then there’s a chance my daughter might not get it either…and “what do I need to do to make sure she ‘gets’ grace?” So, like I do when I’m not sure about something, I started doing some research. I discovered this isn’t a new problem. One of my favorite Baptist preachers, Charles Spurgeon, gave a sermon about this very thing on May 8th 1887:

“The people to whom I am referring really listen to what the preacher has to say; they are attentive, and they seek to retain in their memories the truths he preaches. They even talk when they are at home of the striking passages, if such there be, in what they have heard. You would suppose that such persons would get a blessing from the gospel; yet they do not.” (http://www.newsforchristians.com/spurgeon/chs2411.html)

Spurgeon goes on to discuss this phenomenon and then speaks directly to the hearer in hopes of breaking through the “thick scales” on their eyes. However, I’m not going to reteach what has already been taught. I do recommend you take a look at the sermon, like most of his writings, it’s insightful. I do want to spend some time analyzing the issue.

First, after I’d left the room, my brother confessed to my mother that he didn’t remember any sermon that was taught when he was a child. The only thing he really remembered was a visual using a glass of water and an egg about baptism. What my brother heard was a message on why we believe in immersion (doctrine), and what I heard that day was a message on the internal transformation salvation brings us. So that leads me to my first conclusion.

Not everyone learns the same way. This is a “well duh” statement, but it’s something I think the church is missing. Educators have known for years that we need to meet the needs of every learner in the classroom—we need to teach them they way that they learn best. However, many churches only teach from the perspective of one learning style. I’m a VERY auditory learner. I learn best by listening—which is why I remember so much from the sermons of my childhood. My brother is much more visual—which is why he remembers the example of the egg and water, and not much else. We don’t process information the same way. I can walk into any church and be blessed by a biblically based sermon. He may not get as much out of it, because he doesn’t function like that. The church he attends now, has video, light shows, a darkened auditorium, and active powerpoints to follow during the sermon. I find this distracting and, truthfully, annoying. But, he’s learning and growing there! When taking our children to church, we need to be aware of how they learn, and if the service doesn’t fit their learning style, we need to augment it!

So many times, we parents quote Proverbs 22:6, “Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it” and we see it that we have to teach the kids, but when going back to the original Hebrew, the word train actually is the same word that is used for the process of cleaning out a babies mouth after birth. The word means “create an environment for life.” To quote Mark Hamby, founder of Lamp Light ministries:

“Training our children requires more than simply providing an education. We must create an environment of captivating learning, with experiences that motivate them to passionately pursue worthy goals. External rewards will not suffice; motivation must be intrinsic. We must help to ignite a fire from within so that the child’s passion becomes the driving force behind persevering practice that leads to the achievement of excellence. Turning passivity into passion by providing experiences that cultivate their taste for what is Godly, great, and glorious is the essence of true Biblical ‘training.’”

So, who is responsible for this training? If you’re the parent, the buck stops with you. Our job is not to just take our child to church and hope that it sinks in, or to allow our child to hear our discussions of the sermons. This only works for kids who have active listening skills. Our job is to stand it the gap for our kids. If we attend a church that doesn’t have visual or kinesthetic learning as part of the service, then we need to provide that. Show your child how to take notes during a sermon, or draw a picture with them that teaches the lessons of that day. Be present, and active. Don’t just assume because they heard it they learned it. My daughter is much like me in that she’s very auditory. She loves church services, but doesn’t enjoy Sunday school as much. The reason is her learning style. She soaks up the message in the sermon, often interrupting by asking me questions about what our pastor is teaching (we’ve fixed this by giving her a notebook and when she has a question she has to write it down for discussion after the service). But, Sunday school is trying. It’s a lot of reading, and with her dyslexia it’s frustrating for her. And, although she loves to draw, she doesn’t like structured drawing. She would much rather be asked to create a picture about the sermon on a blank piece of paper than to have to draw what someone told her to. So, what’s my job? I ask her questions about her lesson. We draw pictures—which I proudly place on our fridge. I’m active in her learning.

While sitting in a service, I think there’s something that’s even deeper that we sometimes miss. We assume that our children “got” the message because we did. We forget that they are not adults, and that they process things differently. I’ve noticed this a lot with my daughter. I’ll visit with her about the sermon and she pulled something completely different out of it than I did. This is good, but it shows that we need to assume nothing, and actually converse with our children—every day—about the things God is doing in our lives. If we don’t, we may find that they’re in their mid-thirties and just now “getting” grace—or worse, they may never get it at all.

Lord, help me to see beyond the day-to-day and see the eternal. Thank you for my brother’s growth. I praise you that his walk has become one of joy and service to You. Help me to show my daughter Your grace and love everyday. I want her to know You Lord. Amen

Playlist:

Chris Tomlin, Amazing Grace (My Chains are Gone,) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jbe7OruLk8I

Mark Shultz, I Am, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hILaSh78yHQ

Casting Crowns, Stained Glass Masquerade, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gzKOrlPuWzo

Staying Alert in Christ,

Megan

Lord, this year, I want to hide more…

Posted on January 15, 2014 by Megan

Well, it’s been a month since I’ve written. I hope all of my readers had a wonderful Christmas break—I know I did. Even though it’s been a while, you have not been far from my thoughts. I’ve been praying and considering what God wanted me to share with you next the whole time. He’s laid several messages on my heart, the one I think He most wants me to share is especially pertinent as we begin a new year. I pray it blesses you as you bless me.

It’s common and, I believe, good practice at the beginning of each year to take stock at where we are in life, and where we want to be. We make resolutions to improve our health, set personal and professional goals, and we reevaluate our relationship with our Heavenly Father. Most of us set these resolutions with the best of intentions. Even if we rarely achieve them, we desire to improve our lives. This year, however, I’ve decided not to make any resolutions. Instead of making a laundry list of new goals, this year I’ve decided to hide more.

Before you go thinking I’m going to become a hermit, hear me out. Throughout this transition period that I’m in right now, God’s been reminding me of things. He’s reminded me of the time when I was driving down the road on the way to a job I hated when I prayed, “Lord, I don’t know where this road I’m on is leading me, but I want You to lead my steps. I give everything to You, and I want you to use me for Your glory.” He’s been reminding me of verses like, “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts” Isaiah 55: 9. And, 1 Corinthians 1:27 “But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong.”

I know God has been leading me down a path of total surrender to Him. And, that may look messy. It may make no sense to the world or even to those I love, but I know that He knows best.

Now that you know from what part of my heart I’m speaking from, let me show you an area He’s been refining in me lately. You see, in this time of transition He’s been really growing me. He’s been showing me that He really can do all things. And He’s been showing me more of His heart. I used to think I had all the answers, but during this time of regrowth, He’s been showing me how to love others like He does, and how to see the world through His eyes. My eyes are sinful and limiting, but His eyes are perfect and are limitless.

All of this brings me to my decision to hide more. One of my favorite old hymns illustrates what I’m hoping to achieve. Here’s the story behind the hymn. (There is some disagreement about whether this actually happened, but I’m including it because it’s a wonderful illustration). Augustus Toplady, a young Methodist minister serving in England, was traveling home one evening after particularly hard day. It’s not known exactly what caused his weariness, but being in his twenties and already a preacher, it’s not hard to imagine what he had dealt with that day. Toplady was not a popular young man. He was eccentric and often considered rude. Though he was brilliant and known for his academic achievements, he wasn’t good with people, and he wasn’t accepted. This day had been difficult for him. As he traveled home, it began to rain. (Can’t you just sense his exasperation at this development?) Before long the rain was so strong that he couldn’t see anything and he was losing footing. At the exact time he needed it most, he came to a large rock, and even in the dark and with the rain pouring down all around him he found a cleft, or a crevice, just the size for him to squeeze into. It was there that he came up with the first line from his most famous hymn, “Rock of ages, cleft for me, let me hide myself in thee…”

Toplady only lived to be 38 years old. He lived a sickly life and had a short ministry. However, during that time, he learned how important it is to keep Christ first in your life. Toplady was known for being strong-willed and obstinate, but in his personal writings we see him as a humble follower of Christ who believed that Christ came to earth as a “double cure.” He came to save us from our sins, and thusly from hell, but He also came to save us from ourselves. He wants to make us righteous. That righteousness comes from Him, and not from ourselves. It means that I am unable to live a life free from sin, but rather that I must allow Him to live through me. I must hide myself in Him. I must hide.

This year, I want to live in His double cure. This year, I want to focus on Christ first; I want to hide in the Rock and take in the fullness of the life He has given me. I want to know what it’s like to be fully infused by His living water. I want to understand more, love more, and share more, but I want to do this centered in Him. So, this year, I’m not making resolutions, but I am resolute. This year will be better than all of my other years combined. This year will be about Him because I’m hiding in my Rock.

Staying Alert in Christ,

Megan

Playlist:

Rock of Ages, Chris Rice: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SvlUiE_QMbU

All You Ever Wanted, Casting Crowns: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ea-uQFPcvaM

Amazing Grace (My Chains are Gone), Chris Tomlin: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K-mNT0axB9U

The Word is Alive…

Posted on November 2, 2013 by Megan

Photo taken by my daughter, and I added the quote. “In the beginning was the Word, and the word was with God and the Word was God…” John 1:1 This past week, I’ve been in a real spiritual battle. I’ve … Continue reading →

Lord, It’s Time to Clean House…

Posted on October 21, 2013 by Megan

I hate cleaning. I admit it. I loathe it. There is true enmity between dishes and me. It is the thing I put off the most, and the thing I most need to do. I have to be very intentional about making myself keep up on my cleaning duties. Most of the time I fail, but I give it a valiant effort.

This last weekend I set about the task of getting two things done. I wanted to get my house, “back in order,” as I like to say. In other words, I had a week’s worth of dishes and laundry and clutter to deal with. And, I wanted to start to clean out our basement. Ugh. The basement. Two years ago it flooded. We stacked up furniture in a dry corner and pulled up carpet in an effort to save as much as we could. That time we did, but since then it’s flooded every third time it’s rained. It’s awful. So, I knew I need to just pitch most of what’s down there, and like all housework, I’ve been putting it off.

When my husband and I went down to start organizing things, we knew we had a big chore ahead of us. What we found was not as bad as I’d imagined, but a whole lot of work. The biggest issue is the mildew. It’s growing in a lot of places and it’s going to be a battle getting rid of it. It’s attached itself to things we treasure and we’ll have to clean. We’ve lost a lot of things—nothing that can’t be replaced but still it was hard sorting through some of it. It also hit me, “why have I been holding onto this stuff?” Much of it I haven’t used in years, and it really didn’t need to be kept to begin with. I just didn’t want to see it go.

The song “Whatever You’re Doing” by Sanctus Real kept running through my head as we took on this monstrous task. The specific lyrics that resonated were:

“Time to face up,
Clean this old house
Time to breathe in and let everything out
That I’ve wanted to say for so many years
Time to release all my held back tears”

As I worked on the two cleaning tasks I undertook this weekend, I got to thinking, “What sins and issues have I been putting off dealing with?” I began to ask God to show me things that I had been avoiding cleaning out in my heart. And, just like I asked Him to, He delivered.

The biggest sin He showed me just reared its ugly head a few days ago, but it was characteristic of something I don’t like admitting I struggle with—my temper. This last flare-up was about something very dear to me—my Bible. You see, since I’ve been working four jobs, I’ve had to grab my quiet time on the go. So I’ve kept my Bible in my car’s passenger seat so it’s easy to grab. The other night my daughter left something in the backseat, and for reasons that make no sense to me, she opened the front passenger door and climbed across the backseat to get it. Her hands full, she carelessly didn’t close the passenger door behind her. The result was about 6 barn cats climbing all over the seats. And to top that off a thunderstorm came through. The seat was drenched…and so was my Bible. I have years of notes in the margins, and memories that go with them stored up in that volume. And it was drenched. I suppose I should thank the barn cats for setting off the warning lights or I’d have never gone out to check it until morning—by that time my Bible would have been ruined. When I came back in, I was heartbroken. I sat down and cried that something that was so precious was damaged—at the time I believed beyond repair. (After a lot of work, I was able to salvage it.) What made me mad though wasn’t that my daughter had carelessly caused this catastrophe, but rather her response to it. She said it, “wasn’t her fault.” I blew up. I chewed her up one side and down the other. I hurt her feelings the way mine were hurt. I was so wrong. I damaged her because something I loved was damaged. How wrong of me.

God began to show me that, even though she was wrong in what she did and said, so was I. My overreaction did not give her a good role model for dealing with adversity. Instead, I was showing her that throwing a fit when something upsets me is acceptable. It’s not.

“It’s time for healing time to move on
It’s time to fix what’s been broken too long
Time make right what has been wrong
It’s time to find my way to where I belong”

When we avoid sin it begins to turn into a similar scene as my basement. We hold on to things we don’t really need—things that can cause damage if they’re left for too long. They begin to mildew and break down. They aren’t any good to us, so why do we keep avoiding dealing with them? The worst part is that the sin we’re holding onto and not confronting can cause damage to other things that are of worth. The mildew of it grows on the things we treasure—like relationships with our family, and with the Lord.

Avoiding sin is easy. We just keep living upstairs and keep it up and running, but underneath, in the basement of our hearts, it’s still there, it’s not going away, and it’s destroying us little by little.

“Time for a milestone
Time to begin again
Reevaluate who I really am
Am I doing everything to follow your will
or just climbing aimlessly over these hills
So show me what it is you want from me
I give everything I surrender…”

Lord, show me what I can do to fight off this sin nature that I detest so much and avoid. I surrender…”whatever You’re doing inside of me…You’re up to something bigger than me. Larger than life, something heavenly” Let me be brave enough to say, “It’s time to face up. Clean this old house. Time breathe in and let everything out”

Staying Alert in Christ,

Megan

Lessons on Legalism: Part I

Posted on August 27, 2013 by Megan

An Explanation

Those of you who know me, know that I have been working in Christian education for the last three years. While I worked in that atmosphere, I learned many important lessons about Christ, His character, and who I am in Him. I’m still working through many of my feelings about this season in my life, but I want to make it clear that this post is not meant to “bash” the school I worked at. It is not meant to “bash” certain people who worked there, or Christian education as a whole. These are lessons that I’m sorting through, and I pray writing this is helping me to process and apply these lessons. I may not always feel the way I do today. God has a way of refining me little by little and not all at once. I’m sure as time passes, I’ll grow to see the big picture and what God was doing during this time. I pray that the lessons I’m going to share with you in my next four blogs are helpful and that they bless you. I am being very careful not to attack anyone, but because you need to understand where I have been the last three years in order to understand these lessons, I am going to list examples from my experience. I will not be giving any names, and the examples I’m listing are pretty benign, meaning they are not representative of the worst situations that I experienced. They are actually representative of the pettiest things that happened. I’m doing this deliberately not only so that you can see simple examples, but also to protect those who were involved. Some of these examples have a huge back-story that I’m not going to explain. It is not the purpose of this blog to vent or to gain approval of my actions or feelings. I hope this makes sense. Additionally, I pray that God leads my hands as I write. I pray that this post is a blessing and not a hindrance to any person’s faith.

A Definition

What is Legalism? Wikipedia defines it as a “pejorative term referring to an over-emphasis on discipline of conduct, or legal ideas, usually implying an allegation of misguided rigor, pride, superficiality, the neglect of mercy, and ignorance of the grace of God or emphasizing the letter of law at the expense of the spirit. Legalism is alleged against any view that obedience to law, not faith in God’s grace, is the pre-eminent principle of redemption.” To put it simply, it is a direct focus on the works of the sinner and not the grace of the King. It is a simplistic faith that many are drawn to because it’s easy. A + B = C. Black and White. Simple.

But, God does not call us to a simplistic faith. He calls us to a complex one. He knows we’re going to get our hands dirty. If we’re truly following Him, life will be hard. His life on earth wasn’t easy. Jesus didn’t stay in the lines of organized religion. He drew outside of them. I love the song “My Jesus” by Todd Agnew. It does an excellent job describing the Jesus I know and love. The truth is that when we are drawn into legalism, we are either going to stop growing as a Christian, or we’re going to tick a bunch of people off—which is exactly what I did.

But, I want to be clear, I am in no way advocating disavowing the Law. Romans 6: 1-2 says, “What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means! We are those who have died to sin; how can we live in it any longer?” If we are following Christ on this great adventure that is life, we cannot continue to live in sin. He won’t let us. Although He didn’t follow the “rules,” he never sinned. That is the life He’s calling us into. It is not okay to break the law because we don’t agree with it. Rather, if our focus is on Christ, and not on the law, we will live in His grace. We will grow in our faith. And, we will not be drawn into sin.

A Couple Simple Examples

Here are three examples of my time living and working in a legalistic environment.

1. Dancing is evil. I taught 7^th through 12^th grade. I didn’t have very many students, but the students I did have mentioned one of the things they’d miss most about going to public high school was a prom. We didn’t have organized sports or academic activities either; the school was primarily focused on their education. So, after visiting with some of the parents about it, I visited with the other teachers. The response from them was adamant. Dancing, and public dances are all evil. They were shocked I would consider it. Truth be told, I thought that if the parent organization wanted to put together a banquet for the students, I was all for it. However, I didn’t have an issue with a dance. If it’s well supervised and good music was played, then I thought it might even be a blessing.

2. Modern Christian music is dangerous. One of the things three of my female students wanted to do in a parade was play Jamie Grace music and twirl batons. I was trying to find a way that we could play the music loud enough for the spectators to hear, when another teacher challenged me. She said she felt that any music that “sounded” like secular music was dangerous and wouldn’t be a good representation of our school. She wanted to know if my students could twirl to an old hymn so that the music would be “different” from what the worldy teens were used to. I tried to explain that my students were trying to show that being a Christian isn’t uncool, but that we can have a lot of fun too. But, the issue was pushed until my students decided it was too much of a hassle to do it at all. They didn’t twirl in the parade.

3. Showing grace is too much to ask. One of my students, during a mentoring session with younger kids, mentioned that she was often frustrated with her father–a common tween to teen feeling. I was confronted by a teacher about the exchange. The teacher conceded that the student wasn’t making fun of her dad, or even being truly disrespectful, but that she didn’t think that it was good for her to be disparaging her relationship with her father in front of younger students. She went on to insist that my student not be allowed to mentor any more because of the comment she made. I told her I thought that was a little too strong of a response. I assured her that I would talk to the student about being respectful to her elders, whether she’s getting along with them or not—which I did. However, the teacher in question didn’t let it go. I found myself discussing it with her several more times. She wanted the young lady removed from the mentoring program and even verbally attacked the student’s Christian character when I didn’t bend to her will.

Here’s the crux–scripture can back each of these examples up. Dancing, although it’s done in the Bible by many of God’s people, can be viewed as lewd behavior. At times it really is a sin; I agree with that. However, that is not to say that what these students were asking for was sinful. Often legalistic people use the argument that we must, “avoid the appearance of sin,” as an excuse to ban anything they are uncomfortable with. That is also the excuse to ban music—Christian or not. Finally, it’s obvious what scriptural example was used in the last example: “Honor your father and mother.” However, what each of these examples is missing is Christ. Jesus never said that it was a sin to dance. In fact, King David, was known for his dancing and he was called “a man after my own heart,” by God. Additionally, I truly doubt that Jesus would disparage Jamie Grace’s (an awesome new Christian musician) music because it sounds like songs that are on secular radio. The words don’t sound anything like secular radio. “Lord I love it when You hold me…” were the lyrics to the chorus. Finally, God calls us to show grace and mercy to all people—even ones who make mistakes.

What it all Boils Down to

What legalism is at its core is a faith that is built on works and not grace. People who become legalistic in their day-to-day walk have forgotten that they are depraved sinners who are nothing without Christ. They have replaced a daily search for Christ with a pride that they know best, and a self-righteousness built from the laws they follow. The truth is, it’s easier to live like that, than to live like Christ. We are called to take up our cross (a instrument of execution) and follow Him. That’s not easy. Not at all. In Corinthians Paul describes people who are living this lifestyle. He says, “But I, brothers, could not address you as spiritual people, but as people of the flesh, as infants in Christ. I fed you with milk, not solid food, for you were not ready for it. And even now you are not yet ready, for you are still of the flesh. For while there is jealousy and strife among you, are you not of the flesh and behaving only in a human way?” (I Corinthians 3:1-3) We humans want to be in control. We don’t like feeling weak. We don’t like to admit we don’t know the answers and that the answers aren’t always easy. Legalists believe they know the answers. They live in a world where everything is black and white, and there are no shades of grey. Following their rules gives them control. So if we are living in legalism, we are not growing. God wants to offer us steak, but we’re stuck drinking the milk of babies.

Personally, I prefer steak.

Over the next month I’ll be expounding on the dangers of legalism. I hope these bless you, challenge you, and make you grow. The time I spent in living in legalism has definitely done that to me.

Also, if you haven’t liked my facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/stayingalert) please do so. I am starting a daily bible study tomorrow to further challenge me, and to, hopefully, bless you.

Staying Alert in Christ,

Megan

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