Tag Archives: Blessing

To my daughter’s husband…

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It’s been so very long since I’ve written.  Things have been very busy in my little world, but I haven’t forgotten about you!  If you want an update on my life, check out the “about me” tab!  It’s good to be back to writing!

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Little Miss Mattie is growing up.  It used to be that I’d blink and it felt like she’d grown two inches, but now it’s different in a heart wrenching and frightening way.  She’s not only growing up in height (which is getting substantial—she’s already passed her grandmas!)  But she’s growing up in maturity too.

She’s stuck in that in-between world of having adult thoughts, teenage emotions, and childlike desires.

She’s a tween.

I’ve always felt that the older she gets the more I’ll be able to relate to her.  I work with teenagers and have a deep passion for impacting this culture through that work.  There are many times I feel more connected to the younger generations than I do with adults—probably because I spend so much more time with them!  So, you can imagine my surprise when, as Mattie’s grown closer to the age I’m so comfortable teaching, a switch hasn’t flipped that made us instantly relate to each other.   If anything, I feel like the void has grown.   Our relationship  has been a struggle. Hormones and emotions have run amuck.  Feelings and things have been broken.  I hurt for her and what she’s going through.  I remember how it feels.  She’s grasping for anyway to have some semblance of control.  She feels ugly, unwanted, unworthy—too much, yet not enough.  She has crushes on boys—something she doesn’t even know how to process.  She knows that she should only seek to please God, but when a boy notices her, her heart melts.  I see it.  I understand it.  Believe me.  I get where she’s at.  I think all women do.  That’s why I’m going to address this blog to the boy who will one day win her heart.  Because, like it or not, she’s going to believe him much more than she believes me.

I will never forget that moment when I was holding her in my arms as an infant and I realized that I would die to save her—kill to protect her.

To my one day son-in-law,

First, I get that this is bit creepy me writing to you.  But, I’m in a desperate place.  You have to understand the depth to which I love my daughter.  There are no words for the deep well of emotions that encompass all that she is to me.  I will never forget that moment when I was holding her in my arms as an infant and I realized that I would die to save her—kill to protect her.  It’s a humbling experience—especially when you realize that those emotions are just a drop in the bucket to what God feels for us.  But, I digress.  The reason I’m writing you is that you will have an immeasurable impact on her life one day.

Please know that I’m praying for you, and have been since Mattie was a baby.  I have a slip of paper in my Bible where I’ve written down all of the attributes I hope you will have.  I know you won’t be perfect, and I know that God does amazing things through broken people.   I have prayed for your salvation, for your purity, for your chivalry, and so much more.  These general concepts have been my main focus, but I’ve also asked God to grow in you the things that only He can know that my sweet girl needs.

Because, she does need things from you.  She needs to know that you think she’s beautiful.  I see her face drop when she sees a beautiful actress or model.  I see her look down at her body and start nit-picking every “flaw.”   I can tell her every second of every day that she is the most beautiful thing God has created, and she won’t believe me.  The world is telling her otherwise.  Her peers are telling her otherwise.  She is telling herself otherwise.  But, when you look in her eyes and tell her that she is the most beautiful thing to you, it will make her heart soar.  Whether I like it or not, I can’t win the battle that’s waging inside her.  I can teach her to be a strong and godly woman, but she’ll still doubt.  She’ll still fear.  But when you tell her, it will change everything.  It may take some convincing, but don’t ever stop telling her.  You were created to complete her.  You were created to love her like Christ loves her.  He adores every part of her and created her just the way she is.  Tell her every day how beautiful she is.

She gets so frustrated with her dyslexia, and she gets so tired of fighting so hard.  Know that God created both of you for a purpose, and I know that he will equip both of you to those means, but it won’t be easy.

Empower her.  Dream with her, and help her achieve those dreams.  She doesn’t know what she’s capable of.  She gets so frustrated with her dyslexia, and she gets so tired of fighting so hard.  Know that God created both of you for a purpose, and I know that he will equip both of you to those means, but it won’t be easy.  Build her confidence with your confidence in her.  However, confident people can have egos that get in the way.  Don’t forget that you’re in this together.  Don’t ever “put her in her place.”   You have become one and you should be each other’s best cheerleaders.  Stand with her—even if she’s wrong.  She needs your support.  Take the adventure that life is together.  Be each other’s helpmates.

Be honest with her.  Tell her when she’s messing up.  Call her on it when temper and ego get out of line.  Trust me, she’ll do the same for you!  Temper her ire with your love.  But, most of all, never fail to be on her side.  Fight for her at every juncture of your life.  Be her knight.   She will be willing to grow when you love her—even when she’s wrong.

Don’t let the scars of your past taint the future you can have.  Dare to love recklessly.  Every girl wants to be loved with nothing held back.  Don’t hold a part of yourself back from her.  Don’t try to do what society says.  Don’t try to protect yourself from being hurt.  You will be hurt, but know this:  Strength and beauty come from the deepest scars.  Love her knowing the pain that it could cost you and do it anyway.  She is worth that.  After all, isn’t that what God did for us?

Finally, don’t listen to me.

Finally, don’t listen to me.  Don’t listen to your parents either.  I know that sounds crazy, but parents have plans and agendas.  I will always love her, and I will try to do the same for you, but I can’t promise anything.  I have seen first hand the way over-involved parents can poison a marriage.  Ask advice if you need it, but make your own choices.  Seek wise counsel, pray, and make your own mistakes.  You will not lose our love—ever.  Show her that you love her enough to make your family with her and that you’ll battle any force that might damage it—even if that force is me.

You see, she needs so much more than her father, and I will ever be able to give her—no matter how deep our love is for her.  God is preparing you to be exactly what she needs.  I’m praying for you.  I know this life is a hard one, but it’s worth it–she’s worth it.  Even now, as I see her growing and struggling, I know that God has a plan and I can trust it.  He may choose to lead her to stay single.  However, whatever the life is that he has planned, I’m going to keep fighting and praying and trusting.  Because, even though I don’t know you, I know God.  I know He loves her more than I ever could.  And He loves you too.

Staying Alert in Christ,

Megan

What do You want me to say, Lord?

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Papa's Horses

Hello friends!  I pray that you have had a wonderful couple of weeks, as have I.  God’s been challenging me in new and exciting ways, as I continue this journey of drawing closer to Him.  I’m excited to share these new insights with you over the next few weeks, but God is still growing them in me.  So, today, instead of going terribly deep, I thought I’d share a simple, yet deeply profound discovery.  I pray it blesses you.

 This discovery started a couple of weeks ago when I was fretting (I do this way too much, don’t you!)  I had the children’s sermon in church.  I worry every time I have it because, first, I want to share something that will impact these children and perhaps give them a clear memory that God will use in their lives, and second, I want to remind the adults in the congregation of the simple, yet profound, joys that God shares with us.  These building blocks are so important.  I feel sometimes we lose track of them as we get older, and being reminded of them is a gift.   So, I feel a deep obligation to speak what God would have me speak.  In other words, I put a lot of unneeded pressure on myself.  I usually try to do an object lesson and have something to give the kids that reminds them of that lesson; however, after a long hard week, Saturday arrived and I still had no idea what I was going to teach about.

I was so tired—as I have been frequently lately—and my husband, daughter, and I were grabbing a quick bite to eat out because I didn’t want to cook.  (On a side note, my husband has taken over the cooking this week because I’m still feeling very tired.  I have to brag on him and how good he is to me.  He works the evening shift and isn’t home when we have supper, but he’s put things in the crockpot, pre-cooked meat, and even purchased all our groceries this week!  I am one blessed woman!)  When I shared my dilemma, Mattie, my sweet daughter who is incredibly horse crazy, piped up: “You could teach about Muley!”  Muley is a horse her Papa is giving her at the beginning of summer break.  I laughed because I knew she was going to say this.  We don’t go a single day without at least 15 questions about her new horse.  My response to her suggestion: “Mattie, I know you love Muley, but how can I share about God through that?”

Isn’t it so amazing how God works?  Jason said, “I’m sure you can think of something that horses do that you can use to teach the kids about God.”  I paused, and asked God, “What do you want me to say Lord?”  I immediately got the picture of an old rickety bridge not far from my childhood home, and a memory surfaced.

When I was young, not much older than my daughter is now, I used to ride my horse Chata down the road by our home.  About two miles down this road was a very old bridge.  The bridge was low to the water and often when it rained the water would wash over the top of it.  This made holes in it where the cement and gravel had washed away, and you could see the creek beneath.

One afternoon in the spring I was riding Chata, and we came upon this bridge.  The water was up, but it wasn’t rushing.  It was more like a gentle stream over the top of the road.  We’d been here often enough that I knew where to cross to avoid any washed out portions of the bridge.  I clucked at Chata, but she balked.   I couldn’t get her to go through the water.   After a couple attempts, I got off her back and walked her across the creek—getting myself wet in the process, but earning her trust.  We came back to that creek many more times as I got older, and she never balked again.  She trusted that I knew where to lead her and she would be safe.

I once asked my dad why horses feared water like they do.  He explained that horses have little to no depth perception.  A horse can see the water, but it can’t see how deep it is.  So, while I could see that the water was only a couple of inches deep and not dangerous, she couldn’t.  She didn’t know that she’d be safe until I got off  her back and led her through her trial.

God whispered, “That just like you.”  Immediately I saw the world through Chata’s eyes.  With God as my rider, guiding me through the crags and snares of life, I’ve learned to trust His design.  But, oh, how many times have I balked.  I come across a trial, and I can’t see the depth of it.  I can’t tell if I’ll make it through to the other side, or if it will swallow me whole.  But, God can.  He knows where the holes are.  He knows how deep it is and how long I’ll be in it.  I just have to learn to trust him—like Chata learned to trust me.  How many times has He climbed out of the saddle to walk beside me and coax me through life?  How many times have I slowed a blessing because of my fear and unbelief?  I need to completely surrender control to my Rider, and trust that He will keep me safe.

Amazing.  God always has a plan.  It’s a blessing to have a horse-crazy daughter after all.  The neatest thing is that I remembered that my sweet Chata, who passed away my freshman year in college, is the grandmother to Mattie’s Muley.  How precious is our God.  Things have a way of coming full circle.  The blessings from the Lord are immense and beyond my understanding.

Lord, thank you for giving me such wonderful reminders of who You are.  Thank you for being a faithful friend and rider. I surrender control to You and trust that, even when I don’t know the outcome, You do.  You give me so much more than I deserve.  I love You.   Amen.

Staying Alert in Christ,

Megan

Playlist:

“You Lead” Jamie Grace http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JFmSzL2ppvg

“Keep Making Me” Sidewalk Prophets http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BGkmPeVpBbI

“Speak Life”  Toby Mac http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZeBv9r92VQ0

“Love Take Me Over” Steven Curtis Chapin http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W8DiZhNVu1I

Am I there yet, Lord?

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My daughter and me on our vacation.

My daughter and me on our vacation.

Good day!  I’ve been pondering where to start with my blog.  It’s been hard.  I’m pretty opinionated, and–like most women–I’ve always got a lot on my mind.  I didn’t want to go “too deep” on my first real post and run anyone away, but I’m not looking to write fluff either.  So, Here’s what I came up with.  I hope you are blessed by it! 

“Are we there yet???”

We just returned from a wonderful vacation.  It was one we really needed after a stressful year.  Our daughter, who is normally super sweet and pretty easy going, is in a rather impatient stage right now.  And, since our trip included 18 hours worth of driving, we heard the stereotypical childhood complaints from the back seat.  Overall, she wasn’t terrible about it, but we did have to remind her about every 10 miles to be patient, that there are good things around the corner–to enjoy the ride, and the blessings God has allowed us to experience.  You know, good parent “stuff.”  All of that “stuff” came back to bite me today, as I was complaining to God about my current situation.

You see, when I gave in and decided to be a teacher (“gave in” is the appropriate phrase here, it’s not that I didn’t want to be a teacher, but I’ll get to that in another post.)  I saw myself being much like my parents were and working in the same district for 30+ years.  I wanted to see my student’s children come through my classroom.  I wanted to invest in a community and leave a legacy behind me, like they did.  Unfortunately, that has not been God’s plan for me.  Up-to-date, I’ve worked in three public schools and one private school.  I have made lasting relationships with many of my students, but I haven’t stayed very long in one place–as per my dream.  I can honestly say that each time I made a change I did so knowing I was following God’s will.  I knew that He had a real plan and that it was my job to follow His lead.

I just started a new job this week.  It’s one that I want.  I know God’s in it, because he’s indicated as much when I’m in my quiet time. A bonus is that I get to work for an awesomely fun, godly lady.  It’s work, but it’s cake too.  But, it’s not enough to pay the bills.  So, I’m looking to add to it.  And, I’m not sure what God wants me to do to fill the gap.  I know that I’m burned out and need some rest from teaching.  My last job had me teaching 4 courses to 6 grade levels.  It was an impossible job, and although I did it to the best of my ability, I know the kids would have benefited from having more teachers.  I’m so glad that the school has now done what I kept pushing for and hired more teachers to fill my position.  But, I digress.  As I was working today, two things happened.  First, a young lady, who I’d had in class before, stopped into the shop for lunch and a visit.  We were visiting about her school years and I truly enjoyed the conversation.  It was a huge blessing.  Second, a sweet friend stopped in and visited too.  She didn’t know I was working there, so we spent some time catching up.  I filled her in on why I wanted a job where I didn’t have to make lesson plans and grade papers.  She totally understood, and empathized.

Here’s where I became like my daughter.  I started getting really down after both of these conversations.  They were both uplifting and a blessing, but I caught myself complaining to God.  “Why aren’t I there yet Lord?”  This is not the life I had planned for myself.  This is not supposed to be in the works.  I’m supposed to be tenured with a growing retirement and onto my second generation of students.  Although I love my new job, and it’s blessing me immensely, I started thinking, “what’s wrong with me?”  I want to feel like I’ve arrived.  I want to feel like I’m part of some grand plan.  I want, I want, I want…

Then it hit me.  What had I been saying to my sweet daughter, Mattie,  just a week ago?  God whispered in my ear, “we’re not there yet, but there’s good things around the corner.  Enjoy the blessings that I’m giving you.  Don’t be anxious for what’s to come, but live in the now.  I’m here.  I didn’t promise you an easy life, but I did promise that I’d bless you and I’d be with you…”  And He went on from there.

I flashed back to the mixed feelings I had when Mattie was grousing.  I knew what was coming and I wanted her to enjoy the plans we’d made for her.  I was disappointed with her impatience because I knew that the trip could be one of her best memories–not just the destination.  I started apologizing to God.  I knew that I’d made my heavenly father feel that same disappointment.  He knows what’s coming.  It’s a blessing.  But He wants me to stay in the now…and not worry about what’s around the bend.

Two well known verses came to mind immediately too–I love it when God reinforces what he lays on our hearts with His Word.  The first is Jeremiah 29:11, “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'”  God knows the destination.  He knows what’s coming, even though we don’t.  He knows that it’s a blessing.  He wants us to, “… throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us,  fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.” Hebrews 12:1-3.

Okay Lord, I’ll be patient.

Staying Alert in Christ,

Megan