Our Example Matters

Posted on June 8, 2016 by Megan

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I remember the scene perfectly: me, sitting in a scratchy dress squished into a hard-wood pew, the thread-worn olive-green cushions meant to protect my rump and keep me comfortable only making me itch more. Looking up to see my larger-than-life father in the pew beside me with his brown hard-backed bible in his hands. He hung on every word the pastor said. He drank it all in. I tried to do the same, but it was very hard with the amount of chaffing going on. I caught bits and pieces of the lessons that so enamored my dad. I knew Dad would hash and rehash the message with Mom on the way home and through the coming week. I knew that, if I listened, I would garner much more knowledge than one sermon could possibly do on its own—after all, I was being raised by the two best teachers in the world—or at least I thought so.

There are so many things my parents taught me over the years. The argument could be made that the most vital lesson they taught me was to think. They never took a sermon, book, movie, or newscast at face value. They always looked at things from multiple perspectives and then weighed what they learned against the Word. I received an education far beyond what I would have learned just sitting in a pew or reading a book. I learned how to reason, where priorities should be placed—in the Word, and most importantly that I don’t have to agree with someone else to still love them and learn from them. My parents didn’t always agree with the sermons they heard in church, but I never heard them cutting others down. However, they discussed what was taught and evaluated it by what God has said.

I miss those car rides home. I miss those discussions. I miss the evaluation that was granted to me second-hand. However, now I get to do the same thing for my daughter. Mattie is asking the hard questions, “Mom, if God really loves my friends, why does he allow them to suffer?” “Mom, I just want him to be happy. Is it wrong if what makes him happy is a sin?” “Mom, is it okay to be angry at God that my friend was hurt?” Tough questions—questions where black-and-white answers are sometimes more harmful than helpful. Instead of giving her a canned answer, we evaluate every situation. We weigh what God said in His word against what the world is saying she should do. We talk a lot about God’s heart and His Grace. In today’s world, we can no longer simply pour the Word into our children and expect that they know how to use it. Our children are faced with painful situations where, if they don’t know God personally, they are not going to impact their culture for Him—but rather poison it against Him. We cannot send kids out into the world without preparing them to deal with its trials, pains, and heartaches.

Teaching children that they should be seen and not heard, telling children that they have to blindly follow, and forcing our faith on our children doesn’t lead our children to trust God—or us. It leads to rebellion. Leading our children through the Word with love, admitting we don’t have all the answers, praying with our children, asking our children about their own prayer life, encouraging them to ask the hard questions, having a relationship with our children that is built on respect is how we show our children the real heart of God. He is not their dictator, but their Father. He asks us to “come, let us reason together,” in Isaiah 1:18. He doesn’t ask for us to blindly follow someone we don’t know. He asks us to have a relationship with Him and to have faith in Him—even when we don’t understand or agree with what we see. That is love. That is who God is. That is what it means to be a Christian. Our children learn how to follow God from watching us follow Him. They learn how to interact with God by watching us interact with Him. Lord help us be the examples they need.

Lord, give me Your eyes for her…

Posted on April 8, 2014 by Megan

Last night was a rough night at our house. We didn’t have any major mental melt-downs, thank the Lord, but we did have some turmoil. If I’m being completely truthful, the stress started the night before. Mattie and I came home from a fun time doing “chores” at my parents’ home (it’s hard to call them chores when Mattie loves them so much). Any time with horses is heaven on earth for her—and we were both so wired that we didn’t fall right asleep. This meant we woke up tired, and by the end of the school day for her and the workday for me, our fuses were short.

My plans were very well thought out and if they went as I’d hoped, I knew I’d be in great shape for the rest of the week.

After I picked her up from school, I immediately knew that the evening was not going to go as I had planned. My plans were very well thought out and if they went as I’d hoped, I knew I’d be in great shape for the rest of the week. I needed to sew her costume for school on Wednesday. She could do her homework at the table where I was sewing, and she’s been wanting to cook supper lately, so I thought I’d let her! This would give me extra time to work on her dress!

Unfortunately, that’s not how the evening went.

First, my husband hadn’t had time to get groceries before he left for work, which meant I needed to go pick them up—that was going to cut about an hour out of my plans, but hey, that’s not bad. Then when Mattie got in the car, she announced she had 4 pages of math homework and a paper to write (because she’d forgotten about it over the weekend). Ugh! There goes our great evening.

I took a deep breath, and we made a plan together. We hurried through the grocery shopping, and after doing chores when we got home, I set the timer for her to play outside for 15 minutes while I got things lined up to sew her dress. That’s when our evening started to fall apart…

“Mom! I’m so stupid!”

She came in from looking for toads outside, with big bags under her eyes. I could tell she was exhausted, but I said to her, “You can do this!” She decided to work in my room instead of at the table so the sewing machine wouldn’t distract her. And then the questions started.

“Mom!” came the scream from the back room, “I don’t remember how to classify this triangle!”

“Mom! I can’t figure out this math at all!”

“Mom! I’m so stupid!”

“Mom! How am I supposed to write this dumb paper, when I don’t even know who this guy is!”

And it went on…with every gripe and complaint I became more and more frustrated…

My thoughts raced:

“Why can’t she just do her homework without all this.”

“I get so tired of her complaining.”

“If she’d just try before she gripes!”

“I’m never going to get this dress done!”

My exasperation escalated with every complaint. My evening that I had mapped out was down the drain, and I was never going to get this dress done! That’s when things exploded.

“Mom! You don’t want to help me! You don’t care about me at all!” With that, she ran into her room and slammed the door.

I lost my temper. I told her she that she was ungrateful, and that she had to stay in her room and that she couldn’t cook supper and that I wasn’t sewing her dress after all because now, I had to cook supper and I couldn’t get it all done! I’m not supermom!

I called my mom—the original super mom—and started venting.

“Mom! Why can’t she just do her work!”

“Mom! She’s making me crazy!”

“Mom! I’m making this costume for her, and she won’t let me work!”

“Mom! Will you please talk to her?”

My mother, always the peacemaker, said sure. Before long, Mattie came out and truly apologized. I told her, “Why don’t you take a break from your homework and start supper.” She quietly complied, and we visited about school and about life, as I coached her cooking and continued to sew. Later, I called Mom back.

“What did you say to her to make her stop?”

“I just told her that you both were feeling the same thing…”

“What?”

“You both were frustrated, overwhelmed, and low on time. Once she saw that, she calmed right down.”

Wow.

How many times have I told her that she needs to think of others before herself, and she needs to show love for people despite what she may be feeling! How many times have I prayed for God to give me His eyes for the world, and yet, I’ve not asked the same thing for my daughter? I was so caught up in my own timeline and plans that I missed that she was feeling the exact same way. How is it that two people going through the same exact emotions can get so angry at each other and forget that, “since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.” (1 John 4:11)

How many times have I prayed for God to give me His eyes for the world, and yet, I’ve not asked the same thing for my daughter?

Lord, I’ve been working so hard to teach Mattie to live like You. Help me to see her through Your eyes so I can see the big picture of her life—not just the details. Mold me into the mom You want me to be…Amen.

Staying Alert in Christ,

Megan

Playlist:

“Give Me Your Eyes” Brandon Heath: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P5AkNqLuVgY

“My Own Little World” Matthew West: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M9Yasgzjc0w

Burn Me Up Lord…

Posted on April 3, 2014 by Megan

Photo by Sandy Johnson

I love spring in the Great Plains. I love the look of the grass as it peeks through the blackened dirt after a field has been burned. I love the smell of smoke in the air. I love the muted look the smoke gives the farmlands around us when the sun shines through it. For those of you who don’t live in the heartland, you probably don’t understand why my thoughts of spring relate so much to fire. You see, each spring the Flint Hills light up with lines of fire. These controlled burns destroy all the dead undergrowth left over after the cold of winter and clear the pastures of parasites. Farmers do this so new, fresh, healthy grass can grow back in its place. It’s a beautiful and powerful sight for those of us who live here.

: Photo by Michelle Tessaro. Check out http://www.michelleslens.com!

Recently I realized that this practice is much like what some of us attempt to do during Lent. Lent is a time when some Christians choose to give up something that they care about for the 40 days prior to Easter. We do this because we want draw closer to God through our sacrifice—it’s 40 days long to remind us of the 40 days that Jesus went into the wilderness to fast and be tempted. Every time we think of the item that we have sacrificed, we instead turn our hearts toward God and the greatest sacrifice ever. There’s something special about this time. It’s a time where we really evaluate what is important in our lives—and what we can do without. It’s like spring-cleaning for our hearts: just as the burning fields clean out the dead undergrowth that survived the winter, Lent asks us to give up things that we’ve been holding onto that aren’t good for us and we don’t need, all while drawing closer to the One and only God.

This year, instead of giving up something I really like for Lent, God asked me to break the rules. I decided to ask God what part of my life He wanted me to give up—what needed to be burned away. He showed me areas I didn’t want to see. He showed me ways I’d hurt those that I love, and asked me to give up something I didn’t even know I’d become attached to—harsh words.

Lately, I’ve been convicted that we as Christians need to behave more like Christ in the political arena. I’ve written about this conviction in the past, but this revelation was new. I’ve worked to tame my tongue on social media and in public, but God showed me how I’ve been harsh with my daughter. He spoke to my troubled heart: “Don’t forget her, she’s so much more important than the world…”

: Photo by Travis Harrison

It’s like she’s standing on a cliff. She’s teetering between the young woman she wants to be and one that is ruled by her hormones and emotions. Her behavior is, sometimes, very frustrating to me. I find myself saying things like, “You’re being such a brat!” and, “What’s wrong with you!” Granted, there are much worse things that I could be saying, but the fact that even though she was acting like a brat, and she does seem to lose her mind at times, it doesn’t give me the right to point out to her what she already knows.

You see, she knows that she’s being difficult, and she doesn’t like that she is. In her heart of hearts, she wants to be the sweet, kind, and empathetic child she used to be—but her hormones, her strong will, and her pride are keeping her from doing that right now.

The old adage, “Sticks and stones may break my bones,

but words can never hurt me,” is a lie straight from the pit of hell.

The old adage, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me,” is a lie straight from the pit of hell. Scripture tells us quite the opposite. It tells us in Proverbs 18:9 that “death and life are in the power of the tongue…” Over and over, scripture says that our words are powerful, and we have the ability to speak good into the world or speak evil. We can conquer demons, defeat enemies, and heal relationships with our words. My words, whether accurate or not, have power in my daughter’s life. I can choose to speak joy, peace, and love into her life, or I can choose to push her over the cliff she’s teetering on. And, that power rests with me.

This Lenten season, every time I’ve gotten angry or frustrated with her sass or over-reactions, I’ve turned my heart toward God and asked that He give me the words that speak life into her–instead of discouragement– while still correcting her behavior. God is working on her. He’s been burning down brush piles in her heart—just like He’s doing in mine. I can’t forget that. I need to be on her team, to be the voice that helps bring new life to the barren field left behind her anger and frustration. I am to be there and love her unconditionally after the last ember has died off. After all, that’s what God has done for me.

I love spring. I love the promise of new life—eternal life. I love how God renews the earth and my heart each year. Thank you Lord for remaking me…Burn me up, Lord.

: Photo by Natalie Winters

Staying alert in Christ,

Megan

For more information about why pastures are burned: http://thepioneerwoman.com/blog/2011/05/why-we-burn-our-pastures/

Playlist:

“Speak Life” Toby Mac: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZeBv9r92VQ0

“Wonderful Words of Life”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U7x3OX6v5_o

“Words” Hawk Nelson: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=anVweXDcxhA

“Making Me” Sidewalk Prophets: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BGkmPeVpBbI

“Starts with Me” Tim Timmons: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pslWA2VRmxg

What do You want me to say, Lord?

Posted on February 27, 2014 by Megan

Hello friends! I pray that you have had a wonderful couple of weeks, as have I. God’s been challenging me in new and exciting ways, as I continue this journey of drawing closer to Him. I’m excited to share these new insights with you over the next few weeks, but God is still growing them in me. So, today, instead of going terribly deep, I thought I’d share a simple, yet deeply profound discovery. I pray it blesses you.

This discovery started a couple of weeks ago when I was fretting (I do this way too much, don’t you!) I had the children’s sermon in church. I worry every time I have it because, first, I want to share something that will impact these children and perhaps give them a clear memory that God will use in their lives, and second, I want to remind the adults in the congregation of the simple, yet profound, joys that God shares with us. These building blocks are so important. I feel sometimes we lose track of them as we get older, and being reminded of them is a gift. So, I feel a deep obligation to speak what God would have me speak. In other words, I put a lot of unneeded pressure on myself. I usually try to do an object lesson and have something to give the kids that reminds them of that lesson; however, after a long hard week, Saturday arrived and I still had no idea what I was going to teach about.

I was so tired—as I have been frequently lately—and my husband, daughter, and I were grabbing a quick bite to eat out because I didn’t want to cook. (On a side note, my husband has taken over the cooking this week because I’m still feeling very tired. I have to brag on him and how good he is to me. He works the evening shift and isn’t home when we have supper, but he’s put things in the crockpot, pre-cooked meat, and even purchased all our groceries this week! I am one blessed woman!) When I shared my dilemma, Mattie, my sweet daughter who is incredibly horse crazy, piped up: “You could teach about Muley!” Muley is a horse her Papa is giving her at the beginning of summer break. I laughed because I knew she was going to say this. We don’t go a single day without at least 15 questions about her new horse. My response to her suggestion: “Mattie, I know you love Muley, but how can I share about God through that?”

Isn’t it so amazing how God works? Jason said, “I’m sure you can think of something that horses do that you can use to teach the kids about God.” I paused, and asked God, “What do you want me to say Lord?” I immediately got the picture of an old rickety bridge not far from my childhood home, and a memory surfaced.

When I was young, not much older than my daughter is now, I used to ride my horse Chata down the road by our home. About two miles down this road was a very old bridge. The bridge was low to the water and often when it rained the water would wash over the top of it. This made holes in it where the cement and gravel had washed away, and you could see the creek beneath.

One afternoon in the spring I was riding Chata, and we came upon this bridge. The water was up, but it wasn’t rushing. It was more like a gentle stream over the top of the road. We’d been here often enough that I knew where to cross to avoid any washed out portions of the bridge. I clucked at Chata, but she balked. I couldn’t get her to go through the water. After a couple attempts, I got off her back and walked her across the creek—getting myself wet in the process, but earning her trust. We came back to that creek many more times as I got older, and she never balked again. She trusted that I knew where to lead her and she would be safe.

I once asked my dad why horses feared water like they do. He explained that horses have little to no depth perception. A horse can see the water, but it can’t see how deep it is. So, while I could see that the water was only a couple of inches deep and not dangerous, she couldn’t. She didn’t know that she’d be safe until I got off her back and led her through her trial.

God whispered, “That just like you.” Immediately I saw the world through Chata’s eyes. With God as my rider, guiding me through the crags and snares of life, I’ve learned to trust His design. But, oh, how many times have I balked. I come across a trial, and I can’t see the depth of it. I can’t tell if I’ll make it through to the other side, or if it will swallow me whole. But, God can. He knows where the holes are. He knows how deep it is and how long I’ll be in it. I just have to learn to trust him—like Chata learned to trust me. How many times has He climbed out of the saddle to walk beside me and coax me through life? How many times have I slowed a blessing because of my fear and unbelief? I need to completely surrender control to my Rider, and trust that He will keep me safe.

Amazing. God always has a plan. It’s a blessing to have a horse-crazy daughter after all. The neatest thing is that I remembered that my sweet Chata, who passed away my freshman year in college, is the grandmother to Mattie’s Muley. How precious is our God. Things have a way of coming full circle. The blessings from the Lord are immense and beyond my understanding.

Lord, thank you for giving me such wonderful reminders of who You are. Thank you for being a faithful friend and rider. I surrender control to You and trust that, even when I don’t know the outcome, You do. You give me so much more than I deserve. I love You. Amen.

Staying Alert in Christ,

Megan

Playlist:

“You Lead” Jamie Grace http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JFmSzL2ppvg

“Keep Making Me” Sidewalk Prophets http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BGkmPeVpBbI

“Speak Life” Toby Mac http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZeBv9r92VQ0

“Love Take Me Over” Steven Curtis Chapin http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W8DiZhNVu1I

Lord, are You my “room of requirement”?

Posted on February 12, 2014 by Megan

I started writing this blog over a week ago. It just didn’t seem to be coming together, and I almost chucked it. But, isn’t God good! He’s shown me so much more this last week, and I pray that He uses this blog to bless you!

A confession…

I have a confession to make, but before I get disowned, please hear me out. Okay, here goes: I have read the entire Harry Potter series. Now, wait! Before you close this blog out, let me explain.

I started reading the series when my daughter was in kindergarten. Prior to this, I’d held the view that the series was bad news, and that Christians should stay as far away from them as they could. So, I did. But, then my daughter brought home an ABC book from the library. (She was in public school at the time, but it was a small and very conservative school) The book was about all of the wonderful books you could check out from your local library. Being an English teacher, this excited me that she’d checked it out—and guess what, “H” was for Harry Potter.

When we read this little book together, my daughter knew every title but this one. So, I told her it was a book about magic and quickly moved to the next page. However, this interchange got me to thinking, “Has Harry Potter become part of our culture, or is he just a passing phase?” The more research I did, the more I became convinced that this book series not only had a huge fan base, but many terms that were invented for use in the book were becoming part of our language—it was growing into a part of the culture as a whole. Humph.

My husband and I sat down and discussed this. We agreed that I should read the series so as to know what to do if our daughter ever decided to read she wanted to read it. We did this prayerfully, and I asked God to expose every danger and give me discernment as I read. I was convinced I would hate every minute of it. I was sure I’d find sin and discord at the turn of every page!

I didn’t. What I found, and later verified through research, was a series that is not unlike that of Narnia, or The Lord of the Rings (with a marked difference in the author not desiring to impart Christ). In fact Rowling admits that much of what she wrote is based in her Christian upbringing—although she also admits to have many other influences as well. I believe that, like people, books have good and bad in them. Some are not worth reading—but some, even with their flaws, are. Now, I’m not going to try to convince you to read the series. It’s okay for us to disagree. However, I felt you needed to understand this background before I got to the main point of my blog.

And now, getting to that point…

I’ve been blessed with an amazing opportunity to serve on a ministry team for a local women’s retreat. I’ve attended this retreat every year, without fail, for twelve years. It’s blessed my life, changed me, and challenged me. You can imagine how excited, and nervous, I was to attend my first planning meeting. After introduction of the new members of the team and some housecleaning discussion, our first activity was to take a prayer walk (in the freezing cold) around the grounds to pray for the retreat, and more importantly, to ask God what His will was for this year’s retreat. As I started to pray, I couldn’t get my brain to just settle in on God…so I sat down and started writing out what God had done for me through this retreat. Soon enough words started flowing that I knew weren’t from me, and as I prayed I said, “God, what is it You want? How can this retreat help Your people?” Words that all started with “R” starting flowing onto the paper. He wanted the retreat to be a rest, a renewal, to provide revelation, bring revival, a refreshing of the Word, a requirement…wait…what was that Lord? How can we make this retreat a requirement? That seems harsh. I prayed and waited. What came to mind? Harry Potter—weird, I know. I prayed that God would make it clear to me that He was speaking, and his answer, “I can be that.”

“You can be what Lord?” The image of the “room of requirement” from the Harry Potter series again came to mind.

“I can be that…’

The room of requirement is “… a room that a person can only enter when they have real need of it… when it appears, it is always equipped for the seeker’s needs.” (Doby the house elf) So the Lord can be a magical room that shows itself when a person is need. I wrote down the idea and looked at the time. My time was up, and I had to get back into the meeting. Oh how I wanted to spend some real time—even in the freezing cold—visiting with my Lord about this! Even while cutting the conversation short, I knew this idea was something God was going to build upon in the next few days. I had no idea that it would be weeks, and He’s still showing me more.

I started pondering the times in the book series when the room showed itself. The two instances that were most prominent in my memory were when the children of Hogwarts were preparing for battle against the forces of evil and they needed a place to practice, and when that evil had taken over, they found a place or refuge where they could congregate together in safety. The room, in both instances was equipped with exactly what the children needed. It provided a safe place and a refuge—it gave them just what they needed. I also found it interesting that the room was located on the 7th floor of the castle—a holy number.

As I continued to pray about it, God showed me that the analogy wasn’t perfect. He does not give what is needed to those whose work is for evil—and the room in the story does. And, He is not limited in what He can give, while the room cannot make food for those who need it. However, it’s an interesting thought. What if we truly made God our “room of requirement”? What does His word say about His desire and ability to meet our daily needs?

“And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:19

“Therefore do not worry, saying; “What will we eat?’ or ‘What will we wear? For it is the Gentiles who strive for all these things; and indeed your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But strive first for the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Matthew 6:31-33

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat, or about your body, what you will wear. For life is more than food, and the body more than clothing. Consider the ravens: they neither sow nor reap, they have neither storehouse nor barn, and yet God feeds them. Of how much more value are you than the birds!” Luke 12:22-24

“So do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring worries of its own. Today’s trouble is enough for today.” Matthew 6:34

“And can any of you by worrying add a single hour to the span of life?” Luke 12:25

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not let them be afraid.” John 14:27

These verses are just the tip of the iceberg. God continually shows us in His word that He wants what is best for us. He wants to give us what we need. He wants to give us so much more than our simple minds can fathom.

In regard to the Retreat, God showed me that He wants the women attending to see that He can supply all that they need. They don’t need anything but Him. Most of us know this, but we don’t live it out day-to-day. We try so hard to be self sufficient, that we forget that we need to be dependent. We need to completely depend on Christ for our every need. God can be our very own room of requirement. We can enter into His presence and have every need met and every heartache healed.

I find it amazing that God can use anything to show me biblical truths—even Harry Potter.

Lord, today, it’s my desire to become completely dependent on You. Lord, keep calling me into Your presence. Don’t let me wander Lord. I want my every breath, and my every step to be about You. Amen.

Staying Alert In Christ,

Megan

Playlist:

“Declaration of Dependence,” Steven Curtis Chapman: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7GpwrBn0eXQ&list=PLCC72C714A25775FB

“Magnificent Obsession,” Steven Curtis Chapman: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cel_O-qy0i0

“Keep Making Me,” Sidewalk Prophets: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BGkmPeVpBbI

Why don’t people get Your grace, Lord…

Posted on January 22, 2014 by Megan

Over our busy Christmas I had the opportunity to sit down with my mother, brother, and his beautiful wife and visit. This doesn’t happen often in our family–that we’re all in the same place, and we have time to just visit. My brother lives three hours away from us to the east, and my mother and father live two and a half hours away to the south. So we really only see each other on birthdays and holidays. So, this time was precious; however, it became stressful to me very quickly. My brother’s and my relationship has always been a bit strained. We’re just different enough that getting along wasn’t always easy. I’m betting I’m not alone in this, as it’s very common among siblings.

Our discussion was unusual in that my brother and his wife were discussing their faith—something they don’t do often around me because I can be overbearing and opinionated, like my dad. So the fact that they opened up was great, and my reaction to what they said will probably stop them from doing it again anytime soon, which makes me sad. (I really need to learn to control my reactions, but I digress) We were discussing grace—you would think a safe topic as everyone loves grace, and we are all three saved—and when it became “real” to them that they didn’t have to work their way into heaven. I was shocked to find that they had only recently made this realization. I immediately said to my brother, “How can you have sat through all of Pastor Bodenhammer’s sermons growing up and not have gotten grace!” Not a good response. My brother’s face immediately changed from enthusiasm over this new and wonderful revelation, to a shut-off, defensive wall. I realized once again that I had blown a great opportunity to connect with him. Why is it that we so often miss the opportunities to bless our own family? I could get into analyzing sibling relationships, but I won’t, because that’s not the point of this blog.

However, this whole discussion got me to thinking (more like ranting, and yes, I need to work on that too) about why people who have the same upbringing, sit in the same pew, go to the same youth groups, and gave their lives to the same God, don’t know Him the same way. How did my brother, who was saved the Sunday before I was, hear doctrine when I heard grace!? I also got to thinking…if my brother didn’t get it when he was raised just like I was, then there’s a chance my daughter might not get it either…and “what do I need to do to make sure she ‘gets’ grace?” So, like I do when I’m not sure about something, I started doing some research. I discovered this isn’t a new problem. One of my favorite Baptist preachers, Charles Spurgeon, gave a sermon about this very thing on May 8th 1887:

“The people to whom I am referring really listen to what the preacher has to say; they are attentive, and they seek to retain in their memories the truths he preaches. They even talk when they are at home of the striking passages, if such there be, in what they have heard. You would suppose that such persons would get a blessing from the gospel; yet they do not.” (http://www.newsforchristians.com/spurgeon/chs2411.html)

Spurgeon goes on to discuss this phenomenon and then speaks directly to the hearer in hopes of breaking through the “thick scales” on their eyes. However, I’m not going to reteach what has already been taught. I do recommend you take a look at the sermon, like most of his writings, it’s insightful. I do want to spend some time analyzing the issue.

First, after I’d left the room, my brother confessed to my mother that he didn’t remember any sermon that was taught when he was a child. The only thing he really remembered was a visual using a glass of water and an egg about baptism. What my brother heard was a message on why we believe in immersion (doctrine), and what I heard that day was a message on the internal transformation salvation brings us. So that leads me to my first conclusion.

Not everyone learns the same way. This is a “well duh” statement, but it’s something I think the church is missing. Educators have known for years that we need to meet the needs of every learner in the classroom—we need to teach them they way that they learn best. However, many churches only teach from the perspective of one learning style. I’m a VERY auditory learner. I learn best by listening—which is why I remember so much from the sermons of my childhood. My brother is much more visual—which is why he remembers the example of the egg and water, and not much else. We don’t process information the same way. I can walk into any church and be blessed by a biblically based sermon. He may not get as much out of it, because he doesn’t function like that. The church he attends now, has video, light shows, a darkened auditorium, and active powerpoints to follow during the sermon. I find this distracting and, truthfully, annoying. But, he’s learning and growing there! When taking our children to church, we need to be aware of how they learn, and if the service doesn’t fit their learning style, we need to augment it!

So many times, we parents quote Proverbs 22:6, “Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it” and we see it that we have to teach the kids, but when going back to the original Hebrew, the word train actually is the same word that is used for the process of cleaning out a babies mouth after birth. The word means “create an environment for life.” To quote Mark Hamby, founder of Lamp Light ministries:

“Training our children requires more than simply providing an education. We must create an environment of captivating learning, with experiences that motivate them to passionately pursue worthy goals. External rewards will not suffice; motivation must be intrinsic. We must help to ignite a fire from within so that the child’s passion becomes the driving force behind persevering practice that leads to the achievement of excellence. Turning passivity into passion by providing experiences that cultivate their taste for what is Godly, great, and glorious is the essence of true Biblical ‘training.’”

So, who is responsible for this training? If you’re the parent, the buck stops with you. Our job is not to just take our child to church and hope that it sinks in, or to allow our child to hear our discussions of the sermons. This only works for kids who have active listening skills. Our job is to stand it the gap for our kids. If we attend a church that doesn’t have visual or kinesthetic learning as part of the service, then we need to provide that. Show your child how to take notes during a sermon, or draw a picture with them that teaches the lessons of that day. Be present, and active. Don’t just assume because they heard it they learned it. My daughter is much like me in that she’s very auditory. She loves church services, but doesn’t enjoy Sunday school as much. The reason is her learning style. She soaks up the message in the sermon, often interrupting by asking me questions about what our pastor is teaching (we’ve fixed this by giving her a notebook and when she has a question she has to write it down for discussion after the service). But, Sunday school is trying. It’s a lot of reading, and with her dyslexia it’s frustrating for her. And, although she loves to draw, she doesn’t like structured drawing. She would much rather be asked to create a picture about the sermon on a blank piece of paper than to have to draw what someone told her to. So, what’s my job? I ask her questions about her lesson. We draw pictures—which I proudly place on our fridge. I’m active in her learning.

While sitting in a service, I think there’s something that’s even deeper that we sometimes miss. We assume that our children “got” the message because we did. We forget that they are not adults, and that they process things differently. I’ve noticed this a lot with my daughter. I’ll visit with her about the sermon and she pulled something completely different out of it than I did. This is good, but it shows that we need to assume nothing, and actually converse with our children—every day—about the things God is doing in our lives. If we don’t, we may find that they’re in their mid-thirties and just now “getting” grace—or worse, they may never get it at all.

Lord, help me to see beyond the day-to-day and see the eternal. Thank you for my brother’s growth. I praise you that his walk has become one of joy and service to You. Help me to show my daughter Your grace and love everyday. I want her to know You Lord. Amen

Playlist:

Chris Tomlin, Amazing Grace (My Chains are Gone,) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jbe7OruLk8I

Mark Shultz, I Am, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hILaSh78yHQ

Casting Crowns, Stained Glass Masquerade, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gzKOrlPuWzo

Staying Alert in Christ,

Megan

Lord, this year, I want to hide more…

Posted on January 15, 2014 by Megan

Well, it’s been a month since I’ve written. I hope all of my readers had a wonderful Christmas break—I know I did. Even though it’s been a while, you have not been far from my thoughts. I’ve been praying and considering what God wanted me to share with you next the whole time. He’s laid several messages on my heart, the one I think He most wants me to share is especially pertinent as we begin a new year. I pray it blesses you as you bless me.

It’s common and, I believe, good practice at the beginning of each year to take stock at where we are in life, and where we want to be. We make resolutions to improve our health, set personal and professional goals, and we reevaluate our relationship with our Heavenly Father. Most of us set these resolutions with the best of intentions. Even if we rarely achieve them, we desire to improve our lives. This year, however, I’ve decided not to make any resolutions. Instead of making a laundry list of new goals, this year I’ve decided to hide more.

Before you go thinking I’m going to become a hermit, hear me out. Throughout this transition period that I’m in right now, God’s been reminding me of things. He’s reminded me of the time when I was driving down the road on the way to a job I hated when I prayed, “Lord, I don’t know where this road I’m on is leading me, but I want You to lead my steps. I give everything to You, and I want you to use me for Your glory.” He’s been reminding me of verses like, “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts” Isaiah 55: 9. And, 1 Corinthians 1:27 “But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong.”

I know God has been leading me down a path of total surrender to Him. And, that may look messy. It may make no sense to the world or even to those I love, but I know that He knows best.

Now that you know from what part of my heart I’m speaking from, let me show you an area He’s been refining in me lately. You see, in this time of transition He’s been really growing me. He’s been showing me that He really can do all things. And He’s been showing me more of His heart. I used to think I had all the answers, but during this time of regrowth, He’s been showing me how to love others like He does, and how to see the world through His eyes. My eyes are sinful and limiting, but His eyes are perfect and are limitless.

All of this brings me to my decision to hide more. One of my favorite old hymns illustrates what I’m hoping to achieve. Here’s the story behind the hymn. (There is some disagreement about whether this actually happened, but I’m including it because it’s a wonderful illustration). Augustus Toplady, a young Methodist minister serving in England, was traveling home one evening after particularly hard day. It’s not known exactly what caused his weariness, but being in his twenties and already a preacher, it’s not hard to imagine what he had dealt with that day. Toplady was not a popular young man. He was eccentric and often considered rude. Though he was brilliant and known for his academic achievements, he wasn’t good with people, and he wasn’t accepted. This day had been difficult for him. As he traveled home, it began to rain. (Can’t you just sense his exasperation at this development?) Before long the rain was so strong that he couldn’t see anything and he was losing footing. At the exact time he needed it most, he came to a large rock, and even in the dark and with the rain pouring down all around him he found a cleft, or a crevice, just the size for him to squeeze into. It was there that he came up with the first line from his most famous hymn, “Rock of ages, cleft for me, let me hide myself in thee…”

Toplady only lived to be 38 years old. He lived a sickly life and had a short ministry. However, during that time, he learned how important it is to keep Christ first in your life. Toplady was known for being strong-willed and obstinate, but in his personal writings we see him as a humble follower of Christ who believed that Christ came to earth as a “double cure.” He came to save us from our sins, and thusly from hell, but He also came to save us from ourselves. He wants to make us righteous. That righteousness comes from Him, and not from ourselves. It means that I am unable to live a life free from sin, but rather that I must allow Him to live through me. I must hide myself in Him. I must hide.

This year, I want to live in His double cure. This year, I want to focus on Christ first; I want to hide in the Rock and take in the fullness of the life He has given me. I want to know what it’s like to be fully infused by His living water. I want to understand more, love more, and share more, but I want to do this centered in Him. So, this year, I’m not making resolutions, but I am resolute. This year will be better than all of my other years combined. This year will be about Him because I’m hiding in my Rock.

Staying Alert in Christ,

Megan

Playlist:

Rock of Ages, Chris Rice: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SvlUiE_QMbU

All You Ever Wanted, Casting Crowns: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ea-uQFPcvaM

Amazing Grace (My Chains are Gone), Chris Tomlin: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K-mNT0axB9U

I think I need a helmet Lord…

Posted on December 9, 2013 by Megan

I know I’m not alone when I sometimes get stressed during the holidays. There’s so much pressure to get the right gifts, in addition to regular work schedules and family time. Then there are all the “Christmas traditions” that I feel we need to do. I feel very overwhelmed and under-appreciated at times. One of those “under-appreciated times” happened just a couple days ago after picking Mattie up from school. We were listening to the radio and a spot came on from Focus on the Family. The spot talked about the importance of making and preserving Christmas traditions. Immediately I thought of making homemade bread, ornaments, and candies with Mattie each year. I thought of the special times spent with family and how we take treats to our neighbors. I thought, “Wow, I’ve got this down!” Then my balloon was popped—well maybe popped isn’t strong enough of a word. My balloon was dive-bombed.

“Mom, why don’t we have any special traditions?” was the innocent question from the backseat. And I felt the impact, Pow! Right on the noggin! “WHAT!?!?” I thought. How could she not know the amount of work I put into Christmas each year? How could she not realize how much I focus on making memories with her? How could she ask that question? I immediately got defensive. “We have tons of traditions. What are you talking about?” Came my snippy reply. “No we don’t,” came her argumentative complaint. “We do the same things everyone else does. We don’t do anything special!”

Wow, that really rang my bell. The strong-willed side of me wanted to say, “Well if you think that, we won’t do any of our traditions this year and see how you like it!” But, I held my tongue. I started listing all of the things we do together as a family. One by one, Mattie started to see the work I put into Christmas for her and our family each year. Here are a couple lessons I’ve learned from this heart-wrenching conversation.

1. Don’t assume. Don’t assume your child knows or sees everything. They are still young and sometimes they add two and two and get zero. Don’t assume they see and appreciate the family time…..which leads me to my next point.

2. Be intentional. Ask your child, “Why do you think we bake bread every year at Christmas?” Tell them that you’re trying to make good memories and teach them important lessons during this special season. This is something I’m trying to do in other areas of my daughter’s life as well. I’m realizing how much she misses—just because I don’t tell her. I assume she knows. The other day, I spent 20 minutes telling her how smart she is. She honestly didn’t know that I thought she was smart. But, how could she? I don’t tell her. We all go about our business expecting that our children understand why we do what we do. But, sometimes they don’t. We have to be intentional with telling them they are loved, they are treasured, they are smart, they are talented. This applies to their relationship with Christ as well. We have to tell them how much God loves them EVERY day. If we don’t, the world will tell them the opposite.

3. Don’t stop. As our children grow older, we tend to stop teaching them. I know I have. Mattie understands so much more now. She’s intuitive and brave, but she’s not an adult. She misses things (truth be told, so do most adults)—things that are important, like traditions. Now that she sees all the traditions we do, she knows that she’s special and that her family loves her. She sees how her father and I treasure her because we desire to spend time with her. But, she didn’t see it before. She saw a stressed out mom who put way too much pressure on herself. And that leads to the next big lesson—

4. Don’t over do it. There’s so much pressure right now with moms trying to be perfect. You can’t be perfect. God didn’t make you perfect. Let go of that aspiration. Instead, focus on the things your child likes to do with you. Mattie loves art and crafts. We make new ornaments for our tree each year. We also purchase special ones from Hobby Lobby as a family. It’s fun and it’s special. We bake bread and make candy (this doesn’t happen every year because it depends on when Christmas break falls), but I don’t go overboard teaching her how to make the fanciest fudge. We take a simple recipe and we make that. The point is not perfection but to make the time precious.

5. Don’t save all your traditions for Christmas. Take time each and every day to be intentional to spend time with your child. We pray together as a family each and every day; we also cook supper together, and do chores together. My resolution this year is to eat more meals at the table together and to read the Word together daily. I read mine, but I don’t share it with my daughter everyday.

Proverbs 22:6 “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.” Read to your child, talk about what’s going on in your life, share how God’s changing you every day, and play with your child. Show your child that they are special and treasured all year long. That way they will know that you love them, and that God loves them. In the end, I’m thankful for Mattie’s dive bomb. It woke me up. It reminded me of some important truths that apply to all of us even if it rang my bell a bit.

Thanks, Lord, for Mattie, and how she challenges me. Thank you for making me sensitive to Your voice coming through a child. I guess maybe I don’t need that helmet after all.

How do I raise a Mary, Lord…

Posted on December 3, 2013 by Megan

The other day, while driving, my daughter and I were discussing what song we might like to sing together for the annual Julatta service at our church. For those of you who don’t live in a area predominantly filled with Swedish descendents, Julatta is a candlelight service that is held before sunrise on Christmas morning. It’s a time that we gather as a church and focus on Christ and the miracle of His birth. It’s beautiful, and the best way to start Christmas. I’m not Swedish, but I love our little community and its wonderful traditions. While Mattie and I were driving, we discussed one of my favorite Christmas songs, “Mary Did You Know?” It’s a classic and we talked about turning it into a duet. But as we drove, a realization hit me. Mary couldn’t have known. She couldn’t have begun to guess what would have happened. She was too young.

Mary was 12 when she was betrothed to Joseph—as was Jewish custom— and would have delivered Jesus at 13. My daughter is 11—just one year younger than Mary when the Angel visited her. I always think of Mary as an adult—wise, and pure. But, she was so young! She may have been like my daughter. Mattie talks to me about what kind of man she wants to marry (he should look like Thor, have Captain America’s morals and courage, be a Christian, and a cowboy—high standards!), how she’s frightened to get her period, and how she’s not sure she wants to have kids because she knows it will hurt. She’s a normal, sweet girl, who has normal and sweet fears. She worries about things that I know will turn out okay in the end, but it’s good for her to explore these fears. I remember having them. I remember not wanting to get married because I didn’t want to have sex and have a baby–both I thought were gross! It scared me. I remembered being afraid the first time a boy held my hand. I remember the nerves, the pimples, and the anxiety. Mary was right in the middle of this stage—just as Mattie is beginning it now. She must have been scared because the Angel had to say, “Do not be afraid, Mary; you have found favor with God,” (Luke 1:30) to calm her. And what he said next, would have been terrifying. “You will conceive and give birth to a son, and you are to call him Jesus. He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him the throne of his father David, and he will reign over Jacob’s descendants forever; his kingdom will never end.” (Luke 1: 31-33)

As I look back on this time in my life, I wonder what I would have said had the Angel appeared to me. Was I strong enough to conquer my fears? Is Mattie that strong? Mary’s answer speaks through the ages. “I am the Lord’s servant…May your word to me be fulfilled.” She took her fear, swallowed it, and took the cross that was assigned to her by God.

As adults, we know how hard life can be. Not everything God places in our paths is easy—there’s a reason why life is often called a trial. I wonder what Mary’s mom did that made her so strong—so willing to obey. I’ve heard some mothers say that obedience is what they expect most out of their children. I think that’s fair when a child is young. However, at some point, we need to help bridge the gap between making our children do what’s right because we said it was right, and guiding them into the right decision because it’s their decision to make.

Working in education for the last 10 years, I’ve seen many Christian teens at this crossroad. They are ready to break out on their own. Some parents just let them go—they want them to learn from their actions. They offer too much freedom and the world rejoices. Others close ranks and try to keep the world at bay. Rebellion undeniably is the response to both of these parenting choices. I’ve seen Christian kids go wild because when they became teenagers they stopped getting parented. And, I’ve also seen Christian teens rebel and become sullen and angry because they aren’t allowed to make any decision on their own.

So, how do we help these tweens and teens to not just obey, but believe? They have to know that they know that God is mighty and can do all things. First, we can’t be overprotective. The world is full of examples, both good and bad, that we can use to teach our children about God. Shutting the world out and expecting them to survive in it after they’re grown is foolish. Second, we have to let them take the walk with us. They have to hear our fears, see our failures, and watch God take control and lead us out of it. In order for God to be real to them, He has to be real to us! If we want them to have a life altering faith, they have to learn it from us! I’ve seen many Christian parents who try to have everything put together, but their kids don’t really know them. They want to be a “good” example, so they don’t show their kids what it’s really like to have a real faith in God. So, these kids don’t know how to grow because they’ve never seen growth. It’s amazing what a real example can do.

I’m not saying confess all your deepest fears and frustrations to your children. That’s not healthy for either of you. You are their parent. But let them get to know you. Let them see who you really are. Share appropriate frustrations. Let them see you cry. Let them see you pray! Let them see that miracles happen everyday if you let God lead you. Don’t be their warden or their friend. Be their guide. Help lead them into the Light of Christ by following you as you follow Him.

I wish I could say I’ve mastered this. I haven’t. I have a tendency to be pretty authoritative. But, if I want Mattie to have the kind of faith that Mary had, I’ve got to see beyond obedience, and start to see what’s at stake. I’ve got to be her guide.

Lord, I want Mattie to be like Mary. I want her to be strong and overcome her fears. Help me to be the kind of mom that leads by example—for the good and the bad–so that when her cross stands before her, she’ll choose of her own will, to take it up and follow You.

I’m unpacking my burdens, Lord.

Posted on November 26, 2013 by Megan

I haven’t written in a couple of weeks. In that time I’ve done a lot of packing and unpacking. I packed a suitcase for my daughter to go on her first trip without her parents—she went to Amarillo, Texas, to the National Finals Ranch Rodeo as a birthday present from my parents. I packed a change of clothes for my husband and myself to change into after the funeral of a dear uncle who died in a house fire. I packed clean clothes and toiletries as we went to use the showers at a friend’s house when our plumbing sprung multiple leaks…again. I packed to visit my brother and his sweet family in Kansas City, and this week, I’ll pack again for visits to family for Thanksgiving. I think you can tell why I haven’t written in a couple weeks.

It’s amazing to me how God uses simple—some would say meaningless—tasks and speaks meaning into them. I have felt so burdened carrying around these suitcases seemingly everywhere I go. And, like He does so many times, God used that feeling to show me something about myself. I’ve become quite the pack mule. I’ve been carrying around many burdens that are only hurting me. I’ve been holding onto heartache from a family member who continues to do things that are, from my perspective, hurtful. I’ve been carrying the weight of my daughter’s whole future (don’t all mom’s do this…we worry about how we’re going to prepare our children for the world). I’ve been carrying around the fear that, even with four jobs and faithful parents, we’ll starve. I’ve been carrying around unforgiveness toward a dear friend who betrayed my trust. Yep. I’m a pack mule.

One afternoon, while I was heading down to do chores in the barn, I was having a real gripe-fest of a prayer. I was complaining about one of these situations to God. I just couldn’t understand why this person continued to behave the way she does. I was venting…and God whispered. “That’s not your burden, Megan.” I opened my heart and listened more deeply. He said, “Her actions are her burdens to bear…not yours.” How many times have I done this Lord! I borrow trouble, or worry about all of the things other people are saying and doing. I can’t control her. She will reap the consequences of her actions, and that has nothing to do with me. Yikes—that realization was a little humbling, but mostly freeing.

A Bible study leader of mine taught once on the “Laws of the Harvest.” I believe she was using Adrian Rogers’ template. She said that there were three laws. First, you will reap what you sow. Simple enough, but it’s true. Our actions have consequences. Second, you will reap more than you sowed. Yikes. And third, you will reap later than you sowed. How does all this fit in with me being a pack mule? I have enough reaping and sowing of my own without worrying about what someone else is doing. I’ve seen and done this so many times. I’ve chosen to worry and bear burdens like I have control over the harvest of another person. I don’t. God does.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11: 28-30

I have a lot to learn. I’ve read that verse so many times. I’ve often thought, “Wouldn’t it be nice if I could actually do that?” And, “What would that feel like?” But I knew I didn’t truly understand it. Until now.

I’ve been experiencing a real revival in my heart. God’s been doing amazing things. He’s been breaking down barriers and building up truth in their place. I’ve been seeing the world differently. Very differently. So, I’m unpacking. I’m unpacking lies that I’ve bought into. I’m seeking His truth instead of simply believing what other Christians have said. I’m digging deeply into His word and asking the hard questions. I’m evaluating my beliefs and asking “should I believe this Lord?” I’ve asked Him to lead me in my studies. I’m looking for a radical, life changing, faith.

The other day my daughter and I saw a homeless person standing on the side of the road. We see them a lot, and Mattie always wants to give them money. I always say, “We just don’t have the money.” And, “ We don’t know what they’ll use the money on.” This time, as I passed, Mattie said to me again, “Why can’t we give him money, Mommy?” I started my regular speech, but I felt my stomach clench…which is a sure sign that God wants me to do something different. I started praying, “God, what do you want me to do?” I had a five dollar bill in my purse. Not much. But God was telling me to give it to the man. So, I turned around and headed back into the parking lot. Mattie exclaimed, “Are we giving him money?!” I said, “Yes, God wants me to.” I rolled down my window, and I saw a man who looked a lot my own husband. He looked humiliated. I immediately felt a surge of empathy. He said, “Thank you so much ma’am.” I smiled and said, “it’s not much, but it’s all I’ve got.” As I drove away I began to weep. Mattie didn’t understand and thought I was worried, “ Mom, what if he uses it to buy drugs?” What came out of my mouth blew my mind, as it wasn’t even on my mind. “I’m not responsible for what he does with the money. I’m responsible to God, and He wanted me to give that man my last $5.” It was freeing and powerful. I finally understood what Jesus meant when He asked us to “take his yoke.” He offers such freedom, if we’ll just learn from Him.

So, Lord, help me to keep unpacking my burdens. Show me Your truth. Show me Your will. Show me how You want me to treat others. I want the seeds I sow to reap a good harvest for You.

This week’s playlist:

Casting Crowns “All You Ever Wanted” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ea-uQFPcvaM

Laura Story “I Can Just Be Me” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0VRUU8UBXCk

Big Daddy Weave “Redeemed” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VzGAYNKDyIU

Mark Schultz “All Things Possible” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BrW2Xwkhyso

Jason Gray “More Like Falling in Love” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GXHxpLvv2y8

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