Tag Archives: God Speaks

Lord, help me show her she’s enough…

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God's Handiwork

Before Easter I had the awesome opportunity to take my daughter to the “Secret Keeper Crazy Hair Tour,” in a nearby town.  If you have the chance to take your daughter to one of these events, please do so.  Don’t let conflicts get in your way—it will bless you and your daughter immensely!   One of the most impacting moments was after one of the speakers shared her personal testimony about her battle with body image.   After sharing that God doesn’t want the girls to be “normal” but instead that they should be endeavoring to be “Crazy” for God, the speaker asked everyone’s eyes to close.  She led the girls in laying their own hand on the area of their body that they don’t like—a place that they feel is unattractive, ugly, or not “normal.”  After doing this the speaker asked that the girls pray with her giving that area, which they have no control over because their bodies are changing, over to God.  She then asked God to clear the girls’ minds of the desire to be anything but themselves.  It was an amazing experience.  I opened my eyes, tears streaming down my face, to see my daughter looking up at me, tears streaming down her face.  Then I hugged her and prayed over her.  I believe it changed our relationship forever.

In the following weeks I’ve had many opportunities to remind Mattie of the things she learned and experienced at the event.  She’s battled hormones, a boy who put a mean sign on her back, a virus that caused her to miss a week of school, and then a double ear infection that caused her to miss even more.  She’s been weary and overwhelmed.  One day she said to me, “Mom, no matter what I do, I’ll never be enough.”

It broke my heart.  It also reminded me of a speaker I listened to at our denomination’s women’s retreat several years ago.   I wish I could remember her name so I could give her credit here, but I just can’t bring it to mind.  What she said made an impact on me because she spoke right to what I was feeling as a young married mom.  She said, “The world tells you you’re not enough and too much all at the same time.”

“The world tells you you’re not enough and too much

all at the same time.”

I’ve felt that.  I’ve felt like there wasn’t enough of me to go around.  Like I’d never be super mom.  Like I am doomed to fail as a mother and as a lover of Christ.  The world shoved works down my throat and asked me to “strive” to do better.  All the while I felt bombarded by the feelings that I was too “over the top,” or “too emotional,” or “too excited.”  I was not enough and yet too much.

What made things even worse was that those messages weren’t sent to me by a males-centric society, but rather, by other women!  It went deeper than just what my clothes looked like to things like how long it took me to find a Bible verse or what I chose to wear to church.  I felt like I had to constantly strive to be something I’m not—and every person had different expectations. I could never be enough.  I never felt at peace.  I still don’t, if I’m truly honest.

I remember being Mattie’s age.  It was a horrible time.  I remember sitting in my bed crying at night because the other girls at school were so cruel.  I was a hugger and I just loved everyone.  I remember my mother trying to get me to “just calm down,” and to “not wear my heart on my sleeve.”  I remember sobbing and saying, “but you’re asking me not to be me.”

“but you’re asking me not to be me.”

What I’ve been pondering this week is, “How do we as mothers do this to our daughters?”  Do I make Mattie feel like she’s not enough and yet too much?  If I’m completely honest, yes, I do that.  I don’t want her to be hurt by the legalism at her school, so I sometimes don’t let her wear what she wants—even if it fits dress code and it’s modest.  I’ve seen her respond to this by not wanting to wear her hair down so that people won’t think she’s too proud of it, or that they think she’s a “girly-girl.”

All the while, I’m telling her things like, “calm down,” “not so loud,” “act like a big girl please.”  I’m showing her that who she is, isn’t enough, and yet it’s too much.  I’m training her to do the very things that I have fought to free myself from.

I told you at the beginning of this blog that this event changed our relationship forever.  It’s starting with me.  I’m starting to say things like “If you like your hair like that, then do it,” and after checking to see if something is modest asking, “Do you feel pretty in it?  Then wear it!”  Now, I’m not quite to the point of letting her wear paisley and plaid together (because I have to teach her some decorum) but the point is, I’m trying to accept her for who she is—so that she knows she’s enough for me.

I’m trying to accept her for who she is—

so that she knows she’s enough for me.

Our Heavenly Father created each of us because He wanted our companionship.  He has a plan for our lives, and He never questions if we’re enough.  He never feels that we’re too much either—because He made us to be who we are.  He knows that we are perfect in our salvation from the blood of His precious Son.  So why do we let Satan convince us that we’re not?  Why do we let others do that to us?

That’s over at our house.  My frog catching, snake loving, horse riding, girly-girl is perfectly created by a perfect God.  It’s time I started treating her like it.

Lord, I repent of not showing Mattie her beauty that you placed in her.  Help me to see her through Your perfect eyes.  Help me to show her that whatever she does, if she does it for You she will be enough.  Thank you Lord for re-making me as a mom…I love you Lord.  Amen.

Staying Alert in Christ,

 

Megan

 

Playlist:

Jonny Diaz, “More Beautiful You”  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XNqQUojBg84

Casting Crowns, “All You Ever Wanted”  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ea-uQFPcvaM

Big Daddy Weave, “Redeemed,” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VzGAYNKDyIU

Lord, give me Your eyes for her…

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Your Eyes

Last night was a rough night at our house.  We didn’t have any major mental melt-downs, thank the Lord, but we did have some turmoil.  If I’m being completely truthful, the stress started the night before.  Mattie and I came home from a fun time doing “chores” at my parents’ home (it’s hard to call them chores when Mattie loves them so much).  Any time with horses is heaven on earth for her—and we were both so wired that we didn’t fall right asleep.  This meant we woke up tired, and by the end of the school day for her and the workday for me, our fuses were short.

My plans were very well thought out and if they went as I’d hoped, I knew I’d be in great shape for the rest of the week.

After I picked her up from school, I immediately knew that the evening was not going to go as I had planned.  My plans were very well thought out and if they went as I’d hoped, I knew I’d be in great shape for the rest of the week.   I needed to sew her costume for school on Wednesday.  She could do her homework at the table where I was sewing, and she’s been wanting to cook supper lately, so I thought I’d let her!  This would give me extra time to work on her dress!

Unfortunately, that’s not how the evening went.

First, my husband hadn’t had time to get groceries before he left for work, which meant I needed to go pick them up—that was going to cut about an hour out of my plans, but hey, that’s not bad.  Then when Mattie got in the car, she announced she had 4 pages of math homework and a paper to write (because she’d forgotten about it over the weekend).  Ugh!  There goes our great evening.

I took a deep breath, and we made a plan together.  We hurried through the grocery shopping, and after doing chores when we got home, I set the timer for her to play outside for 15 minutes while I got things lined up to sew her dress.  That’s when our evening  started to fall apart…

“Mom!  I’m so stupid!”

She came in from looking for toads outside, with big bags under her eyes.  I could tell she was exhausted, but I said to her, “You can do this!”  She decided to work in my room instead of at the table so the sewing machine wouldn’t distract her.  And then the questions started.

“Mom!” came the scream from the back room, “I don’t remember how to classify this triangle!”

“Mom!  I can’t figure out this math at all!”

“Mom!  I’m so stupid!”

“Mom!  How am I supposed to write this dumb paper, when I don’t even know who this guy is!”

And it went on…with every gripe and complaint I became more and more frustrated…

My thoughts raced:

“Why can’t she just do her homework without all this.”

“I get so tired of her complaining.”

“If she’d just try before she gripes!”

“I’m never going to get this dress done!”

My exasperation escalated with every complaint.  My evening that I had mapped out was down the drain, and I was never going to get this dress done!  That’s when things exploded.

“Mom!  You don’t want to help me!  You don’t care about me at all!”  With that, she ran into her room and slammed the door.

Love

I lost my temper.  I told her she that she was ungrateful, and that she had to stay in her room and that she couldn’t cook supper and that I wasn’t sewing her dress after all because now, I had to cook supper and I couldn’t get it all done!  I’m not supermom!

I called my mom—the original super mom—and started venting.

“Mom!  Why can’t she just do her work!”

“Mom!  She’s making me crazy!”

“Mom!  I’m making this costume for her, and she won’t let me work!”

“Mom!  Will you please talk to her?”

My mother, always the peacemaker, said sure.  Before long, Mattie came out and truly apologized.  I told her, “Why don’t you take a break from your homework and start supper.”  She quietly complied, and we visited about school and about life, as I coached her cooking and continued to sew.  Later, I called Mom back.

“What did you say to her to make her stop?”

“I just told her that you both were feeling the same thing…”

“What?”

“You both were frustrated, overwhelmed, and low on time.  Once she saw that, she calmed right down.”

Wow.

How many times have I told her that she needs to think of others before herself, and she needs to show love for people despite what she may be feeling!  How many times have I prayed for God to give me His eyes for the world, and yet, I’ve not asked the same thing for my daughter?    I was so caught up in my own timeline and plans that I missed that she was feeling the exact same way.  How is it that two people going through the same exact emotions can get so angry at each other and forget that,  “since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.” (1 John 4:11)

How many times have I prayed for God to give me His eyes for the world, and yet, I’ve not asked the same thing for my daughter?

Lord, I’ve been working so hard to teach Mattie to live like You.  Help me to see her through Your eyes so I can see the big picture of her life—not just the details.  Mold me into the mom You want me to be…Amen.

 

Staying Alert in Christ,

Megan

Playlist:

“Give Me Your Eyes”  Brandon Heath:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P5AkNqLuVgY

“My Own Little World” Matthew West:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M9Yasgzjc0w

What do You want me to say, Lord?

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Papa's Horses

Hello friends!  I pray that you have had a wonderful couple of weeks, as have I.  God’s been challenging me in new and exciting ways, as I continue this journey of drawing closer to Him.  I’m excited to share these new insights with you over the next few weeks, but God is still growing them in me.  So, today, instead of going terribly deep, I thought I’d share a simple, yet deeply profound discovery.  I pray it blesses you.

 This discovery started a couple of weeks ago when I was fretting (I do this way too much, don’t you!)  I had the children’s sermon in church.  I worry every time I have it because, first, I want to share something that will impact these children and perhaps give them a clear memory that God will use in their lives, and second, I want to remind the adults in the congregation of the simple, yet profound, joys that God shares with us.  These building blocks are so important.  I feel sometimes we lose track of them as we get older, and being reminded of them is a gift.   So, I feel a deep obligation to speak what God would have me speak.  In other words, I put a lot of unneeded pressure on myself.  I usually try to do an object lesson and have something to give the kids that reminds them of that lesson; however, after a long hard week, Saturday arrived and I still had no idea what I was going to teach about.

I was so tired—as I have been frequently lately—and my husband, daughter, and I were grabbing a quick bite to eat out because I didn’t want to cook.  (On a side note, my husband has taken over the cooking this week because I’m still feeling very tired.  I have to brag on him and how good he is to me.  He works the evening shift and isn’t home when we have supper, but he’s put things in the crockpot, pre-cooked meat, and even purchased all our groceries this week!  I am one blessed woman!)  When I shared my dilemma, Mattie, my sweet daughter who is incredibly horse crazy, piped up: “You could teach about Muley!”  Muley is a horse her Papa is giving her at the beginning of summer break.  I laughed because I knew she was going to say this.  We don’t go a single day without at least 15 questions about her new horse.  My response to her suggestion: “Mattie, I know you love Muley, but how can I share about God through that?”

Isn’t it so amazing how God works?  Jason said, “I’m sure you can think of something that horses do that you can use to teach the kids about God.”  I paused, and asked God, “What do you want me to say Lord?”  I immediately got the picture of an old rickety bridge not far from my childhood home, and a memory surfaced.

When I was young, not much older than my daughter is now, I used to ride my horse Chata down the road by our home.  About two miles down this road was a very old bridge.  The bridge was low to the water and often when it rained the water would wash over the top of it.  This made holes in it where the cement and gravel had washed away, and you could see the creek beneath.

One afternoon in the spring I was riding Chata, and we came upon this bridge.  The water was up, but it wasn’t rushing.  It was more like a gentle stream over the top of the road.  We’d been here often enough that I knew where to cross to avoid any washed out portions of the bridge.  I clucked at Chata, but she balked.   I couldn’t get her to go through the water.   After a couple attempts, I got off her back and walked her across the creek—getting myself wet in the process, but earning her trust.  We came back to that creek many more times as I got older, and she never balked again.  She trusted that I knew where to lead her and she would be safe.

I once asked my dad why horses feared water like they do.  He explained that horses have little to no depth perception.  A horse can see the water, but it can’t see how deep it is.  So, while I could see that the water was only a couple of inches deep and not dangerous, she couldn’t.  She didn’t know that she’d be safe until I got off  her back and led her through her trial.

God whispered, “That just like you.”  Immediately I saw the world through Chata’s eyes.  With God as my rider, guiding me through the crags and snares of life, I’ve learned to trust His design.  But, oh, how many times have I balked.  I come across a trial, and I can’t see the depth of it.  I can’t tell if I’ll make it through to the other side, or if it will swallow me whole.  But, God can.  He knows where the holes are.  He knows how deep it is and how long I’ll be in it.  I just have to learn to trust him—like Chata learned to trust me.  How many times has He climbed out of the saddle to walk beside me and coax me through life?  How many times have I slowed a blessing because of my fear and unbelief?  I need to completely surrender control to my Rider, and trust that He will keep me safe.

Amazing.  God always has a plan.  It’s a blessing to have a horse-crazy daughter after all.  The neatest thing is that I remembered that my sweet Chata, who passed away my freshman year in college, is the grandmother to Mattie’s Muley.  How precious is our God.  Things have a way of coming full circle.  The blessings from the Lord are immense and beyond my understanding.

Lord, thank you for giving me such wonderful reminders of who You are.  Thank you for being a faithful friend and rider. I surrender control to You and trust that, even when I don’t know the outcome, You do.  You give me so much more than I deserve.  I love You.   Amen.

Staying Alert in Christ,

Megan

Playlist:

“You Lead” Jamie Grace http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JFmSzL2ppvg

“Keep Making Me” Sidewalk Prophets http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BGkmPeVpBbI

“Speak Life”  Toby Mac http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZeBv9r92VQ0

“Love Take Me Over” Steven Curtis Chapin http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W8DiZhNVu1I

Lord, are You my “room of requirement”?

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Door

I started writing this blog over a week ago.  It just didn’t seem to be coming together, and I almost chucked it.  But, isn’t God good!  He’s shown me so much more this last week, and I pray that He uses this blog to bless you!

A confession…

I have a confession to make, but before I get disowned, please hear me out.  Okay, here goes:  I have read the entire Harry Potter series.  Now, wait!   Before you close this blog out, let me explain.

I started reading the series when my daughter was in kindergarten.  Prior to this, I’d held the view that the series was bad news, and that Christians should stay as far away from them as they could.  So, I did.  But, then my daughter brought home an ABC book from the library. (She was in public school at the time, but it was a small and very conservative school) The book was about all of the wonderful books you could check out from your local library.  Being an English teacher, this excited me that she’d checked it out—and guess what, “H” was for Harry Potter.

When we read this little book together, my daughter knew every title but this one.  So, I told her it was a book about magic and quickly moved to the next page.  However, this interchange got me to thinking, “Has Harry Potter become part of our culture, or is he just a passing phase?”  The more research I did, the more I became convinced that this book series not only had a huge fan base, but many terms that were invented for use in the book were becoming part of our language—it was growing into a part of the culture as a whole.  Humph.

My husband and I sat down and discussed this.  We agreed that I should read the series so as to know what to do if our daughter ever decided to read she wanted to read it.  We did this prayerfully, and I asked God to expose every danger and give me discernment as I read.  I was convinced I would hate every minute of it.  I was sure I’d find sin and discord at the turn of every page!

I didn’t.  What I found, and later verified through research, was a series that is not unlike that of Narnia, or The Lord of the Rings (with a marked difference in the author not desiring to impart Christ).  In fact Rowling admits that much of what she wrote is based in her Christian upbringing—although she also admits to have many other influences as well.  I believe that, like people, books have good and bad in them.  Some are not worth reading—but some, even with their flaws, are.  Now, I’m not going to try to convince you to read the series.  It’s okay for us to disagree.  However, I felt you needed to understand this background before I got to the main point of my blog.

And now, getting to that point…

I’ve been blessed with an amazing opportunity to serve on a ministry team for a local women’s retreat.  I’ve attended this retreat every year, without fail, for twelve years.  It’s blessed my life, changed me, and challenged me.  You can imagine how excited, and nervous, I was to attend my first planning meeting.  After introduction of the new members of the team and some housecleaning discussion, our first activity was to take a prayer walk (in the freezing cold) around the grounds to pray for the retreat, and more importantly, to ask God what His will was for this year’s retreat.  As I started to pray, I couldn’t get my brain to just settle in on God…so I sat down and started writing out what God had done for me through this retreat.  Soon enough words started flowing that I knew weren’t from me, and as I prayed I said, “God, what is it You want?  How can this retreat help Your people?”  Words that all started with “R” starting flowing onto the paper.  He wanted the retreat to be a rest, a renewal, to provide revelation, bring revival, a refreshing of the Word, a requirement…wait…what was that Lord?  How can we make this retreat a requirement?  That seems harsh.  I prayed and waited.  What came to mind?  Harry Potter—weird, I know.  I prayed that God would make it clear to me that He was speaking, and his answer, “I can be that.”

“You can be what Lord?”  The image of the “room of requirement” from the Harry Potter series again came to mind.

“I can be that…’

The room of requirement is “… a room that a person can only enter when they have real need of it… when it appears, it is always equipped for the seeker’s needs.”  (Doby the house elf)  So the Lord can be a magical room that shows itself when a person is need.  I wrote down the idea and looked at the time.  My time was up, and I had to get back into the meeting.  Oh how I wanted to spend some real time—even in the freezing cold—visiting with my Lord about this!  Even while cutting the conversation short, I knew this idea was something God was going to build upon in the next few days.  I had no idea that it would be weeks, and He’s still showing me more.

I started pondering the times in the book series when the room showed itself.  The two instances that were most prominent in my memory were when the children of Hogwarts were preparing for battle against the forces of evil and they needed a place to practice, and when that evil had taken over, they found a place or refuge where they could congregate together in safety.  The room, in both instances was equipped with exactly what the children needed.  It provided a safe place and a refuge—it gave them just what they needed.   I also found it interesting that the room was located on the 7th floor of the castle—a holy number.

As I continued to pray about it, God showed me that the analogy wasn’t perfect.  He does not give what is needed to those whose work is for evil—and the room in the story does.  And, He is not limited in what He can give, while the room cannot make food for those who need it.  However, it’s an interesting thought.  What if we truly made God our “room of requirement”? What does His word say about His desire and ability to meet our daily needs?

“And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.”  Philippians 4:19

“Therefore do not worry, saying; “What will we eat?’ or ‘What will we wear? For it is the Gentiles who strive for all these things; and indeed your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But strive first for the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Matthew 6:31-33

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat, or about your body, what you will wear. For life is more than food, and the body more than clothing. Consider the ravens: they neither sow nor reap, they have neither storehouse nor barn, and yet God feeds them. Of how much more value are you than the birds!” Luke 12:22-24

“So do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring worries of its own. Today’s trouble is enough for today.” Matthew 6:34

“And can any of you by worrying add a single hour to the span of life?” Luke 12:25

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not let them be afraid.” John 14:27

These verses are just the tip of the iceberg.  God continually shows us in His word that He wants what is best for us.  He wants to give us what we need.  He wants to give us so much more than our simple minds can fathom.

In regard to the Retreat, God showed me that He wants the women attending to see that He can supply all that they need.  They don’t need anything but Him.  Most of us know this, but we don’t live it out day-to-day.  We try so hard to be self sufficient, that we forget that we need to be dependent.  We need to completely depend on Christ for our every need.  God can be our very own room of requirement. We can enter into His presence and have every need met and every heartache healed.

I find it amazing that God can use anything to show me biblical truths—even Harry Potter.

Lord, today, it’s my desire to become completely dependent on You.  Lord, keep calling me into Your presence.  Don’t let me wander Lord.  I want my every breath, and my every step to be about You.  Amen.

Staying Alert In Christ,

Megan

Playlist:

“Declaration of Dependence,” Steven Curtis Chapman:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7GpwrBn0eXQ&list=PLCC72C714A25775FB

“Magnificent Obsession,” Steven Curtis Chapman:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cel_O-qy0i0

“Keep Making Me,” Sidewalk Prophets:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BGkmPeVpBbI

Why don’t people get Your grace, Lord…

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Train up a child

Over our busy Christmas I had the opportunity to sit down with my mother, brother, and his beautiful wife and visit. This doesn’t happen often in our family–that we’re all in the same place, and we have time to just visit.  My brother lives three hours away from us to the east, and my mother and father live two and a half hours away to the south.  So we really only see each other on birthdays and holidays.  So, this time was precious; however, it became stressful to me very quickly.  My brother’s and my relationship has always been a bit strained.  We’re just different enough that getting along wasn’t always easy.  I’m betting I’m not alone in this, as it’s very common among siblings.

 Our discussion was unusual in that my brother and his wife were discussing their faith—something they don’t do often around me because I can be overbearing and opinionated, like my dad.  So the fact that they opened up was great, and my reaction to what they said will probably stop them from doing it again anytime soon, which makes me sad.  (I really need to learn to control my reactions, but I digress)  We were discussing grace—you would think a safe topic as everyone loves grace, and we are all three saved—and when it became “real” to them that they didn’t have to work their way into heaven.  I was shocked to find that they had only recently made this realization.  I immediately said to my brother, “How can you have sat through all of Pastor Bodenhammer’s sermons growing up and not have gotten grace!”  Not a good response.  My brother’s face immediately changed from enthusiasm over this new and wonderful revelation, to a shut-off, defensive wall.  I realized once again that I had blown a great opportunity to connect with him.   Why is it that we so often miss the opportunities to bless our own family?  I could get into analyzing sibling relationships, but I won’t, because that’s not the point of this blog.

 However, this whole discussion got me to thinking (more like ranting, and yes, I need to work on that too) about why people who have the same upbringing, sit in the same pew, go to the same youth groups, and gave their lives to the same God, don’t know Him the same way.  How did my brother, who was saved the Sunday before I was, hear doctrine when I heard grace!?  I also got to thinking…if my brother didn’t get it when he was raised just like I was, then there’s a chance my daughter might not get it either…and “what do I need to do to make sure she ‘gets’ grace?”  So, like I do when I’m not sure about something, I started doing some research.  I discovered this isn’t a new problem.  One of my favorite Baptist preachers, Charles Spurgeon, gave a sermon about this very thing on May 8th 1887:

 “The people to whom I am referring really listen to what the preacher has to say; they are attentive, and they seek to retain in their memories the truths he preaches. They even talk when they are at home of the striking passages, if such there be, in what they have heard. You would suppose that such persons would get a blessing from the gospel; yet they do not.” (http://www.newsforchristians.com/spurgeon/chs2411.html)

 Spurgeon goes on to discuss this phenomenon and then speaks directly to the hearer in hopes of breaking through the “thick scales” on their eyes.  However, I’m not going to reteach what has already been taught.  I do recommend you take a look at the sermon, like most of his writings, it’s insightful.  I do want to spend some time analyzing the issue.

 First, after I’d left the room, my brother confessed to my mother that he didn’t remember any sermon that was taught when he was a child. The only thing he really remembered was a visual using a glass of water and an egg about baptism.  What my brother heard was a message on why we believe in immersion (doctrine), and what I heard that day was a message on the internal transformation salvation brings us.  So that leads me to my first conclusion.

 Not everyone learns the same way.  This is a “well duh” statement, but it’s something I think the church is missing.  Educators have known for years that we need to meet the needs of every learner in the classroom—we need to teach them they way that they learn best.  However, many churches only teach from the perspective of one learning style.  I’m a VERY auditory learner.  I learn best by listening—which is why I remember so much from the sermons of my childhood.  My brother is much more visual—which is why he remembers the example of the egg and water, and not much else.  We don’t process information the same way.  I can walk into any church and be blessed by a biblically based sermon.  He may not get as much out of it, because he doesn’t function like that.  The church he attends now, has video, light shows, a darkened auditorium, and active powerpoints to follow during the sermon.  I find this distracting and, truthfully, annoying.  But, he’s learning and growing there!  When taking our children to church, we need to be aware of how they learn, and if the service doesn’t fit their learning style, we need to augment it!

 So many times, we parents quote Proverbs 22:6, “Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it” and we see it that we have to teach the kids, but when going back to the original Hebrew, the word train actually is the same word that is used for the process of cleaning out a babies mouth after birth.  The word means “create an environment for life.”  To quote Mark Hamby, founder of Lamp Light ministries:

 “Training our children requires more than simply providing an education. We must create an environment of captivating learning, with experiences that motivate them to passionately pursue worthy goals. External rewards will not suffice; motivation must be intrinsic. We must help to ignite a fire from within so that the child’s passion becomes the driving force behind persevering practice that leads to the achievement of excellence. Turning passivity into passion by providing experiences that cultivate their taste for what is Godly, great, and glorious is the essence of true Biblical ‘training.’”

 So, who is responsible for this training?  If you’re the parent, the buck stops with you.  Our job is not to just take our child to church and hope that it sinks in, or to allow our child to hear our discussions of the sermons.  This only works for kids who have active listening skills.  Our job is to stand it the gap for our kids.  If we attend a church that doesn’t have visual or kinesthetic learning as part of the service, then we need to provide that.  Show your child how to take notes during a sermon, or draw a picture with them that teaches the lessons of that day.  Be present, and active.  Don’t just assume because they heard it they learned it.  My daughter is much like me in that she’s very auditory.  She loves church services, but doesn’t enjoy Sunday school as much.  The reason is her learning style.  She soaks up the message in the sermon, often interrupting by asking me questions about what our pastor is teaching (we’ve fixed this by giving her a notebook and when she has a question she has to write it down for discussion after the service).  But, Sunday school is trying.  It’s a lot of reading, and with her dyslexia it’s frustrating for her.  And, although she loves to draw, she doesn’t like structured drawing.  She would much rather be asked to create a picture about the sermon on a blank piece of paper than to have to draw what someone told her to.  So, what’s my job?  I ask her questions about her lesson.  We draw pictures—which I proudly place on our fridge.  I’m active in her learning.

 While sitting in a service, I think there’s something that’s even deeper that we sometimes miss.  We assume that our children “got” the message because we did.  We forget that they are not adults, and that they process things differently.  I’ve noticed this a lot with my daughter.  I’ll visit with her about the sermon and she pulled something completely different out of it than I did.  This is good, but it shows that we need to assume nothing, and actually converse with our children—every day—about the things God is doing in our lives.  If we don’t, we may find that they’re in their mid-thirties and just now “getting” grace—or worse, they may never get it at all.

 Lord, help me to see beyond the day-to-day and see the eternal.  Thank you for my brother’s growth.  I praise you that his walk has become one of joy and service to You.  Help me to show my daughter Your grace and love everyday.  I want her to know You Lord.  Amen

Playlist:

Chris Tomlin, Amazing Grace (My Chains are Gone,) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jbe7OruLk8I

Mark Shultz, I Am, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hILaSh78yHQ

Casting Crowns, Stained Glass Masquerade, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gzKOrlPuWzo

Staying Alert in Christ,

Megan

Do I have good manners, Lord?

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My Parents and Grandparents this last Christmas

Ever had one of those weeks that appears to have a “theme?”  I believe God speaks to us all the time.  Sometimes He does it by bopping us on the head, or whispering quietly in our ear, or sometimes He brings things into our lives again and again until (if we’re paying attention), we see a pattern.  I’ve had a week that seems to have me feeling like a broken record…then it hit me…there’s a theme here.  God is speaking.  How cool…

We’ve been discussing manners at our house.  It seems to me that many times, as parents, we keep manners in a box.  We limit them to saying “please,” or “thank you,” or not blowing our nose at the dinner table.  But having “good manners” should go deeper than that.  I find myself saying things that my parents and grandparents used to say to me.  The other day, as Mattie and I were leaving my work, I said to her, “Did you pick up the kid’s area?”  She answered that she had, and then I said, “Be sure to leave it better than you found it.”  I didn’t even think before saying it.  It was a concept that was drilled into me by my parents, but I learned it most from my grandparents.  When I was a kid my grandpa was a rural letter carrier.  Every year my grandpa and grandma took us to the state rural letter carriers convention with them.  I remember getting up in the morning and making my bed at the hotel (something I didn’t always do at home) because Grandpa would say, “We always leave a place better than we found it.”  When he taught me this, he was telling me that the housekeeper had worth and we needed to treat her with love and respect—even if we never met her, even if she never knew why we were doing it.  Powerful message, and even though I don’t make my bed at home every day, I always think of that when I stay at someone’s house or at a hotel.

But, there’s more to this theme than one comment.   Our daughter Mattie and I have been having deeper conversations than that.  We had the State Fair last week.  It’s a busy week for us because Mattie has many projects there—her biggest being her rabbits.  So, this year, we invited her cousin to spend the weekend with us.  Mattie and Emma are great friends and they had a good time—although they did get on each other’s nerves at points.  Mattie was challenging me on one of those points while we were riding in the car this last week.  She didn’t understand why I seemed to favor Emma’s ideas over hers.  It was an honest emotion, and I understood why she was frustrated.  I tried to explain to her that it wasn’t that I thought Emma had better ideas, it was because Emma was our guest, and that I was being hospitable.  That concept was difficult for a ten year old–who desires her mother’s approval and felt that my choosing her cousin’s ideas over hers was a sign that I didn’t approve of her– to grasp.  So I turned the tables on her.  It gave me a base to deepen the discussion to one of how she acts when she’s a guest.  Does she behave well knowing that people are trying to be hospitable to her?  Is she putting others before herself?  (She’s always been naturally gracious, so this isn’t a problem, but it was a great conversation.)

God, then deepened the theme that was becoming very transparent, when I read this article that was posted on facebook.  (http://www.prodigalmagazine.com/she-yelled-and-called-me-names/)  It tells the story of a lady who is getting a coffee at Starbucks and is treated very poorly by someone else while in the drive-thru.  But, instead of returning evil for evil, she chooses to try to buy the other lady’s coffee.  One quote that blew me away was this, “Instead of getting mad or yelling back at her, a sense of empathy invaded me. I looked at her again, and this time I saw someone different, someone who wrenched my heart. Her eyes were red and puffy. Her hair was pulled back in a natty ponytail. She held her phone in her palm, glancing down at it every few seconds. And she was driving that big ole’ gas hog of a Suburban, my own car of choice when I had three kids at home and a carpool.”  I don’t know that empathy would have been my first reaction to the lady in question.  If you have a chance to read the article, you’ll see that this woman didn’t deserve empathy at all.  But then I thought of how many times I’ve asked God to “open my eyes and help me to see people as You see them.”  I was convicted.

How many times do I not treat people with empathy?  Whether it be the Fed-Ex guy who is driving me crazy, the woman who pulled out in front of me in the grocery store parking lot, or the person who has sinned against me, how does God want me to react?

Matthew 7:12

“So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you…”

Proverbs 15:1

“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”

Matthew 5:39

“But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also.”

I Peter 3:9

“Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.”

I’ve shared with you that I’ve been battling bitterness with a group of people who have sinned against me.  I also shared that I didn’t handle it well and that I began to return evil for evil.  God’s still refining me…thank goodness!  But, He’s used the lessons I’ve been trying to teach my daughter about having “good manners” to open my heart up to something bigger.

God doesn’t want us to be wimps.  He doesn’t want us get walked on, but He wants us to love others—even when they don’t deserve it, especially when they don’t deserve it.  I think about our political climate right now.  I’m very conservative, and I think about all the things I post that support my views.  But, how many of those things attack instead of inform.  How many of those things aim to do evil to people who don’t agree with me.  Ugh. I’ve not been being very Christ-like.

People are hurting.  “Holier than thou” attitudes will not heal them.  If I really want to be like Christ, then I need to change my perspective.  I need to start to allow Him to open my eyes to what has been going on under the surface.  I need to start to have empathy for those who may choose to hurt me.  I need to choose to carry the cross of the pain they cause me and turn the other cheek—like Christ did when He died for me.  I’m not saying that I’m not going to try to change the world. However, God called me to be a light in the world for Him, not a shotgun.  I must not return evil for evil anymore.  After all, I’ve been raised to leave a place better than I found it. 🙂

Staying Alert in Christ,

Megan

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