It’s been so very long since I’ve written.  Things have been very busy in my little world, but I haven’t forgotten about you!  If you want an update on my life, check out the “about me” tab!  It’s good to be back to writing!

Little Miss Mattie is growing up.  It used to be that I’d blink and it felt like she’d grown two inches, but now it’s different in a heart wrenching and frightening way.  She’s not only growing up in height (which is getting substantial—she’s already passed her grandmas!)  But she’s growing up in maturity too.

She’s stuck in that in-between world of having adult thoughts, teenage emotions, and childlike desires.

She’s a tween.

I’ve always felt that the older she gets the more I’ll be able to relate to her.  I work with teenagers and have a deep passion for impacting this culture through that work.  There are many times I feel more connected to the younger generations than I do with adults—probably because I spend so much more time with them!  So, you can imagine my surprise when, as Mattie’s grown closer to the age I’m so comfortable teaching, a switch hasn’t flipped that made us instantly relate to each other.   If anything, I feel like the void has grown.   Our relationship  has been a struggle. Hormones and emotions have run amuck.  Feelings and things have been broken.  I hurt for her and what she’s going through.  I remember how it feels.  She’s grasping for anyway to have some semblance of control.  She feels ugly, unwanted, unworthy—too much, yet not enough.  She has crushes on boys—something she doesn’t even know how to process.  She knows that she should only seek to please God, but when a boy notices her, her heart melts.  I see it.  I understand it.  Believe me.  I get where she’s at.  I think all women do.  That’s why I’m going to address this blog to the boy who will one day win her heart.  Because, like it or not, she’s going to believe him much more than she believes me.

I will never forget that moment when I was holding her in my arms as an infant and I realized that I would die to save her—kill to protect her.

To my one day son-in-law,

First, I get that this is bit creepy me writing to you.  But, I’m in a desperate place.  You have to understand the depth to which I love my daughter.  There are no words for the deep well of emotions that encompass all that she is to me.  I will never forget that moment when I was holding her in my arms as an infant and I realized that I would die to save her—kill to protect her.  It’s a humbling experience—especially when you realize that those emotions are just a drop in the bucket to what God feels for us.  But, I digress.  The reason I’m writing you is that you will have an immeasurable impact on her life one day.

Please know that I’m praying for you, and have been since Mattie was a baby.  I have a slip of paper in my Bible where I’ve written down all of the attributes I hope you will have.  I know you won’t be perfect, and I know that God does amazing things through broken people.   I have prayed for your salvation, for your purity, for your chivalry, and so much more.  These general concepts have been my main focus, but I’ve also asked God to grow in you the things that only He can know that my sweet girl needs.

Because, she does need things from you.  She needs to know that you think she’s beautiful.  I see her face drop when she sees a beautiful actress or model.  I see her look down at her body and start nit-picking every “flaw.”   I can tell her every second of every day that she is the most beautiful thing God has created, and she won’t believe me.  The world is telling her otherwise.  Her peers are telling her otherwise.  She is telling herself otherwise.  But, when you look in her eyes and tell her that she is the most beautiful thing to you, it will make her heart soar.  Whether I like it or not, I can’t win the battle that’s waging inside her.  I can teach her to be a strong and godly woman, but she’ll still doubt.  She’ll still fear.  But when you tell her, it will change everything.  It may take some convincing, but don’t ever stop telling her.  You were created to complete her.  You were created to love her like Christ loves her.  He adores every part of her and created her just the way she is.  Tell her every day how beautiful she is.

She gets so frustrated with her dyslexia, and she gets so tired of fighting so hard.  Know that God created both of you for a purpose, and I know that he will equip both of you to those means, but it won’t be easy.

Empower her.  Dream with her, and help her achieve those dreams.  She doesn’t know what she’s capable of.  She gets so frustrated with her dyslexia, and she gets so tired of fighting so hard.  Know that God created both of you for a purpose, and I know that he will equip both of you to those means, but it won’t be easy.  Build her confidence with your confidence in her.  However, confident people can have egos that get in the way.  Don’t forget that you’re in this together.  Don’t ever “put her in her place.”   You have become one and you should be each other’s best cheerleaders.  Stand with her—even if she’s wrong.  She needs your support.  Take the adventure that life is together.  Be each other’s helpmates.

Be honest with her.  Tell her when she’s messing up.  Call her on it when temper and ego get out of line.  Trust me, she’ll do the same for you!  Temper her ire with your love.  But, most of all, never fail to be on her side.  Fight for her at every juncture of your life.  Be her knight.   She will be willing to grow when you love her—even when she’s wrong.

Don’t let the scars of your past taint the future you can have.  Dare to love recklessly.  Every girl wants to be loved with nothing held back.  Don’t hold a part of yourself back from her.  Don’t try to do what society says.  Don’t try to protect yourself from being hurt.  You will be hurt, but know this:  Strength and beauty come from the deepest scars.  Love her knowing the pain that it could cost you and do it anyway.  She is worth that.  After all, isn’t that what God did for us?

Finally, don’t listen to me.

Finally, don’t listen to me.  Don’t listen to your parents either.  I know that sounds crazy, but parents have plans and agendas.  I will always love her, and I will try to do the same for you, but I can’t promise anything.  I have seen first hand the way over-involved parents can poison a marriage.  Ask advice if you need it, but make your own choices.  Seek wise counsel, pray, and make your own mistakes.  You will not lose our love—ever.  Show her that you love her enough to make your family with her and that you’ll battle any force that might damage it—even if that force is me.

You see, she needs so much more than her father, and I will ever be able to give her—no matter how deep our love is for her.  God is preparing you to be exactly what she needs.  I’m praying for you.  I know this life is a hard one, but it’s worth it–she’s worth it.  Even now, as I see her growing and struggling, I know that God has a plan and I can trust it.  He may choose to lead her to stay single.  However, whatever the life is that he has planned, I’m going to keep fighting and praying and trusting.  Because, even though I don’t know you, I know God.  I know He loves her more than I ever could.  And He loves you too.

Staying Alert in Christ,

Megan