Lord, are You my “room of requirement”?

Door

I started writing this blog over a week ago.  It just didn’t seem to be coming together, and I almost chucked it.  But, isn’t God good!  He’s shown me so much more this last week, and I pray that He uses this blog to bless you!

A confession…

I have a confession to make, but before I get disowned, please hear me out.  Okay, here goes:  I have read the entire Harry Potter series.  Now, wait!   Before you close this blog out, let me explain.

I started reading the series when my daughter was in kindergarten.  Prior to this, I’d held the view that the series was bad news, and that Christians should stay as far away from them as they could.  So, I did.  But, then my daughter brought home an ABC book from the library. (She was in public school at the time, but it was a small and very conservative school) The book was about all of the wonderful books you could check out from your local library.  Being an English teacher, this excited me that she’d checked it out—and guess what, “H” was for Harry Potter.

When we read this little book together, my daughter knew every title but this one.  So, I told her it was a book about magic and quickly moved to the next page.  However, this interchange got me to thinking, “Has Harry Potter become part of our culture, or is he just a passing phase?”  The more research I did, the more I became convinced that this book series not only had a huge fan base, but many terms that were invented for use in the book were becoming part of our language—it was growing into a part of the culture as a whole.  Humph.

My husband and I sat down and discussed this.  We agreed that I should read the series so as to know what to do if our daughter ever decided to read she wanted to read it.  We did this prayerfully, and I asked God to expose every danger and give me discernment as I read.  I was convinced I would hate every minute of it.  I was sure I’d find sin and discord at the turn of every page!

I didn’t.  What I found, and later verified through research, was a series that is not unlike that of Narnia, or The Lord of the Rings (with a marked difference in the author not desiring to impart Christ).  In fact Rowling admits that much of what she wrote is based in her Christian upbringing—although she also admits to have many other influences as well.  I believe that, like people, books have good and bad in them.  Some are not worth reading—but some, even with their flaws, are.  Now, I’m not going to try to convince you to read the series.  It’s okay for us to disagree.  However, I felt you needed to understand this background before I got to the main point of my blog.

And now, getting to that point…

I’ve been blessed with an amazing opportunity to serve on a ministry team for a local women’s retreat.  I’ve attended this retreat every year, without fail, for twelve years.  It’s blessed my life, changed me, and challenged me.  You can imagine how excited, and nervous, I was to attend my first planning meeting.  After introduction of the new members of the team and some housecleaning discussion, our first activity was to take a prayer walk (in the freezing cold) around the grounds to pray for the retreat, and more importantly, to ask God what His will was for this year’s retreat.  As I started to pray, I couldn’t get my brain to just settle in on God…so I sat down and started writing out what God had done for me through this retreat.  Soon enough words started flowing that I knew weren’t from me, and as I prayed I said, “God, what is it You want?  How can this retreat help Your people?”  Words that all started with “R” starting flowing onto the paper.  He wanted the retreat to be a rest, a renewal, to provide revelation, bring revival, a refreshing of the Word, a requirement…wait…what was that Lord?  How can we make this retreat a requirement?  That seems harsh.  I prayed and waited.  What came to mind?  Harry Potter—weird, I know.  I prayed that God would make it clear to me that He was speaking, and his answer, “I can be that.”

“You can be what Lord?”  The image of the “room of requirement” from the Harry Potter series again came to mind.

“I can be that…’

The room of requirement is “… a room that a person can only enter when they have real need of it… when it appears, it is always equipped for the seeker’s needs.”  (Doby the house elf)  So the Lord can be a magical room that shows itself when a person is need.  I wrote down the idea and looked at the time.  My time was up, and I had to get back into the meeting.  Oh how I wanted to spend some real time—even in the freezing cold—visiting with my Lord about this!  Even while cutting the conversation short, I knew this idea was something God was going to build upon in the next few days.  I had no idea that it would be weeks, and He’s still showing me more.

I started pondering the times in the book series when the room showed itself.  The two instances that were most prominent in my memory were when the children of Hogwarts were preparing for battle against the forces of evil and they needed a place to practice, and when that evil had taken over, they found a place or refuge where they could congregate together in safety.  The room, in both instances was equipped with exactly what the children needed.  It provided a safe place and a refuge—it gave them just what they needed.   I also found it interesting that the room was located on the 7th floor of the castle—a holy number.

As I continued to pray about it, God showed me that the analogy wasn’t perfect.  He does not give what is needed to those whose work is for evil—and the room in the story does.  And, He is not limited in what He can give, while the room cannot make food for those who need it.  However, it’s an interesting thought.  What if we truly made God our “room of requirement”? What does His word say about His desire and ability to meet our daily needs?

“And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.”  Philippians 4:19

“Therefore do not worry, saying; “What will we eat?’ or ‘What will we wear? For it is the Gentiles who strive for all these things; and indeed your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But strive first for the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Matthew 6:31-33

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat, or about your body, what you will wear. For life is more than food, and the body more than clothing. Consider the ravens: they neither sow nor reap, they have neither storehouse nor barn, and yet God feeds them. Of how much more value are you than the birds!” Luke 12:22-24

“So do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring worries of its own. Today’s trouble is enough for today.” Matthew 6:34

“And can any of you by worrying add a single hour to the span of life?” Luke 12:25

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not let them be afraid.” John 14:27

These verses are just the tip of the iceberg.  God continually shows us in His word that He wants what is best for us.  He wants to give us what we need.  He wants to give us so much more than our simple minds can fathom.

In regard to the Retreat, God showed me that He wants the women attending to see that He can supply all that they need.  They don’t need anything but Him.  Most of us know this, but we don’t live it out day-to-day.  We try so hard to be self sufficient, that we forget that we need to be dependent.  We need to completely depend on Christ for our every need.  God can be our very own room of requirement. We can enter into His presence and have every need met and every heartache healed.

I find it amazing that God can use anything to show me biblical truths—even Harry Potter.

Lord, today, it’s my desire to become completely dependent on You.  Lord, keep calling me into Your presence.  Don’t let me wander Lord.  I want my every breath, and my every step to be about You.  Amen.

Staying Alert In Christ,

Megan

Playlist:

“Declaration of Dependence,” Steven Curtis Chapman:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7GpwrBn0eXQ&list=PLCC72C714A25775FB

“Magnificent Obsession,” Steven Curtis Chapman:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cel_O-qy0i0

“Keep Making Me,” Sidewalk Prophets:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BGkmPeVpBbI

Retreating from God

I made a harsh realization this weekend.  Even though I’ve been closer to God in the last few months than I have been in years, even though this season in my life has me leaning on Him more than ever– I’ve been retreating from Him. I’ve been shying away when He convicts me in one certain area.  This area is tender…any mention of it makes my heart quiver.  I’m still very broken.  So, I’ve built up a shell around my hurt, kind of like a scab, or scales.  The problem is that the scales have gotten in the way of the wound really healing.  What I’ve done to protect myself has only made my pain deeper and last longer than it really needed to…and that all changed this past weekend.

Every year, since my first year of marriage, I have attended a ladies retreat with my church friends.  I’ll never forget the first year: strapped for cash, ladies whom I hardly knew offered to pay my way, offered to bless me.  I was too proud to accept their kindness though, and I ended up scrounging up the money to go.  I was so blessed by the experience.  I don’t even remember who the speaker was or what she spoke about, but I do remember going back to my cabin in tears and those same sweet ladies ministering to a very scared newlywed.  I just love these ladies.   I can’t speak enough about how having them in my life has changed me, blessed me…they’ve discipled me.

This year is my thirteenth year going to Retreat.  Every year I come planning to be renewed and loved on by my Heavenly Father, and every year He shows up.  I prayed as I entered beautiful Rock Springs that He would show up again this year.   I prayed that I would be His vessel if others needed help.  I prayed that I would be renewed.  It’s been such a hard year, and I needed to retreat.  I immediately felt the presence of the Holy Spirit speaking to my soul…I felt Him whispering a love song to me. I settled into my rest and was full of Joy to be at a place that has been a spiritual renewal for me for so long…and then, my sin nature reared its ugly head.

When I arrived at our cabin, I discovered all of the beds were already taken.  Frustrated, I went from room to room trying to find a spot for me and my best friend, who wasn’t able to arrive until later in the evening.  My frustration must have been pretty evident because one of the ladies from our group came to my rescue and helped me make up a rollaway bed in the living room next to a pull-out couch.  The thoughts rolling through my brain weren’t nice and are not worth repeating.  I’m working four jobs to make ends meet right now, and I was so aggravated that the fee I’d had to save, scrimp, and go without meals for didn’t even get me a bed.  I’m just glad I kept my cool.  I texted my friend, “I’m grumpy about [not having a bed], so it’s your job to make me thankful I’m here…K!”  I was trying to make light of the situation.  Her response, “We can deal!  Guess that means you will have to stay up with me in the main room till everyone goes to sleep.  LOL!”  I’m so glad I have a friend who understands me.  She knew I needed her to not empathize but to tell me to grow up.  It’s a real blessing to have a friend like that.

I wish this was the end of my grumpiness, but it wasn’t.  When I arrived at the dining hall, I discovered that one of the women who had treated me so terribly at my last job was at Retreat as well.  There are four ladies that I worked with who sinned terribly against me, and one of them was here!  At my retreat!  At the retreat I’d faithfully attended every year of my marriage.   She was like the evil sidekick to my arch nemesis, and she was here!  I felt my back tighten, my shoulders hunch, and the scales around my pain shift into protective layers.

I left the dining hall hardly speaking.  I probably would have been muttering had I spoken at all.  But no one asked me to, thankfully, and I quietly found my seat.  The praise team entered and I obligingly stood.  I was grumbling in my spirit to God.  This is retreat!  I’m supposed to be getting my spiritual tank filled.  “God, I can’t focus on you when she’s here.  My back is going to go out on that stinking rollaway too!  I shouldn’t have come!  She’s probably watching me right now, waiting for me to look like an idiot praising you!  She’s probably watching to see when I cry and when I don’t.  She wants to see me hurt.  She’s evil!  God why is she here!  This is so unfair!”  Then, the words I’d been mechanically singing broke through my tantrum.

“This is my prayer in the fire,

in weakness or trial or pain,

there is a faith proved of more worth than gold,

so refine me Lord through the flames.”

And the Chorus,

“I will bring praise,

I will bring praise,

no weapon formed against me shall remain…”

God spoke to my hurt.  “Child, I know you are hurt.  I am angry you are in pain.  My pain is greater than yours because not only were you hurt, but, those who injured you did it out of their own pain.”  And then, “You are here because I need to strip you of your scales.   You have to heal if you are to complete the tasks I have for you.  I can heal you, but you have to let me tear the scales from your wounds.”  I was sobbing before our speaker even entered the stage.  God impressed upon me the image of Eustace Scrubb in C.S. Lewis’ The Dawn Treader.  Where he’d been turned into a dragon and Aslan had to tear the scales from his body in order for him to be restored.  It was quite an image.  I prayed, “Lord, if this is what I must do, I have faith that You will do what I need.”

Since the time that I decided to leave my last job, I felt like I had to prove that I was right.  God has told me I was, but I felt that I needed the world to know it too.  He taught me so much this weekend.  It was a divine appointment. I’ve been frustrated because my husband, who has been amazingly supportive of me, hasn’t continued to let me vent to him about my hurt.  He has asked me to forgive them…but whenever I tried, I started going down a laundry list of all the sins they’d committed against me and my anger and bitterness would come up and I would quit praying for them and start complaining about them.  I have been trying to practice the principle of forgiving a sin 70 X 7 times, but I’m failing.  God showed me that I didn’t have to win.  I needed to be broken.  I can’t change them.  They have their own crosses, crosses of their own making to bear, and it’s not my job to fix them, or to make them pay.  I prayed that He erase the laundry list of sins they’ve committed against me from my head.  Little by little, God tore each scale away this weekend.  He stripped me bare of my bitterness and anger.

So much more happened this weekend than I can fit into this blog.   First of all, my back didn’t go out on the rollaway, and we even found a bed for my dearest friend.  She also continued to not let me wallow in my frustrations and proved, yet again, why she is my confidant.  Best of all, the messages the speaker, Lynda Randle, gave spoke right into my pain.  She recently went through loss and pain, and she shared from that.  Sunday’s final message was on healing broken relationships…talk about a God thing.

I didn’t go to Retreat planning to have my scales ripped from my spirit.  I went planning to be renewed.  But God knew best.  He knew that while at Retreat He could stop my retreat from Him.  As the last verse of that precious praise song went, “This is my prayer in the harvest, when favor and providence flow, I know I’m filled to be emptied again, The seed I’ve received I will sow.”  Thank you Lord for giving me fresh seeds to sow this weekend.  I’m now ready to accept the blessings you so graciously want to bestow upon me.  I’m empty Lord, fill me up.

Staying Alert in Christ,

Megan

Here are some photos of our beautiful Retreat.

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